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Sophie Heart

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 Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)

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James Balan

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PostSubject: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:42 pm

It was a lazy Sunday morning at the beginning of December. The weather had turned milder, and on the streets on the Scottish city a dusting of snow touched the ground. Circe... they - James was still so unsure on how you spoke about pregnancy - was six months pregnant now. Her belly was swollen in size, and their son was growing more and more each day.

His ma had been calling almost every other day for updates - 'has the baby kicked yet', or 'has Circe eaten today', or 'have you made sure Circe is okay, done things for her so that she can relax' - all the questions were driving James up the wall. Because... when he'd finally said goodbye to his ma, he didn't know how to talk about the small human being that was growing in his girlfriend's tummy. Should he be worrying that Circe hadn't told him if she needed anything? Did the lack of kicking mean there was a problem?

A man would have asked, but James was much too afraid of the answers.

James had woken early that morning, and finding Circe still asleep, he'd slipped out of bed to the kitchen and made himself some breakfast. He'd eaten in silence, his thoughts a million miles away from their apartment until his spoon brought nothing to his lips. Washing the plate and putting it away, James had thought about going to the gym, but stopped himself from pulling on his shorts and t-shirt when his ma's questions ran through his head again.

Turning from his gym bag, Jame moved back to the kitchen, finding the fruits from the fridge and cutting them up to make a small fruit salad. He boiled the kettle and made Circe a cup of tea and found a tray from the cupboard. He paused for a moment, reaching up in to the top shelf of the cupboard and pulling down the packet of chocolate biscuits he kept for rainy days and lifted the tray. He was making an effort, even if he got it all completely wrong.

Putting the tray on Circe's bedside cabinet, James moved back to his side of the bed and got himself comfortable. "Hey..." James spoke softly, not wanting to startle Circe too quickly from her sleep. "It's time to get up, baby. Breakfast is waiting for you." James added, leaning down to press a kiss of her lips, trying to rouse her from her slumber.

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Circe Mayer
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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Mon May 01, 2017 5:36 pm

Being pregnant was the hardest thing Circe was forced to deal with. Well, not forced, and well, not the hardest either. But she was a woman, her hormones were going completely crazy and James Balan was not helping her at all! Yes, of course he cared. This was his baby too, but she still didn't feel like James truly wanted this. Was she scared? Yes. But she had a feeling that James was not going to leave them. Even if he was scared, he would never just leave her with a baby. He wanted this little thing just as much as she did, but he was still not ready to express that. And that frustrated Circe the most.

After everything they had been through, someone would think that James would have been a bit less difficult to deal with. But no. He was the same stubborn little shit that she had fallen in love with.

And after all, this had its positives. James was obviously too scared to ask anything involving the baby or her and the pregnancy. Whether the baby had kicked, or if she was in pain. And so Circe didn't tell him anything. And their days just went on in silence. Her belly was growing and James kept being James.

Now six months pregnant, her belly was big. Not gigantic, but big enough to make her life miserable and hard. It wasn't easy for her to sleep, and since the little devil was kicking all the time, falling asleep in peace was almost impossible. But a life was growing inside her, and the happiness was obviously there.
Last night had been one of the hardest nights for her, since the baby would just not stop kicking, and that caused her to stay up pretty late, drinking some tea and waiting for the kicks to settle down before she could head to bed.

It had been pretty late when she had finally managed to fall asleep, and that was why she did not hear James waking up next to her. She was too tired, and she was trying to get as much sleep as possible before the baby was born. Cause she was sure, there was not going to be any sleeping after that.

"It's time to get up, baby. Breakfast is waiting for you."

Circe stirred, trying to understand whether she was dreaming about James or if that was reality happening. Her eyes slowly opened as his lips touched hers, and Circe involuntary smiled. James wasn't perfect, but he had a heart. A beautiful soul even if he didn't want to accept that. And whenever a part of it decided to shine through his darkness, Circe made sure to appreciate it, however small it might be.

"Good morning.."
Leaning up, she kissed him once more before slowly and carefully pushing herself up in a sitting position to look at him.
"You're up early.. and you even made breakfast?"
A giggle left her lips as she turned to look at the tray. He had done a very good job. "Well, I guess someone's in a good mood?"

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Mon May 01, 2017 6:18 pm

The smile on Circe's lips brought a very small one to James'. He was still trying with the whole opening up thing, even if it was something that terrified him much more than he'd care to admit. "Morning." James echoed before his lips were claimed momentarily by the witch's before him. Not that he was complaining, of course.

Moving out of the way as she sat up in bed, James watched her movements carefully. Six months ago, Circe would have done that without a second thought. Six months ago that wouldn't have looked quite so much effort, but James shook away those kind of thoughts, instead smirking a little as she mentioned him being up early that morning.

"Can't I make you breakfast and be up early every once in a while?" James asked with mock innocence. This was not your usual romantic scene of the guy doting on his girlfriend and bringing her breakfast. This, for James, was a clear sign that he was trying to be... a decent boyfriend. It would likely not become anything of a regular occurrence, but it was a sign that, for once, he was not solely thinking about himself.

"I wouldn't push it that far." James replied to her comment, but his tone denoted an underlying notion of him simply teasing the witch in that moment. Settling back down in his pillows, James simply allowed a small silence to envelope him. Clearly, he was thinking to himself as a number of moments passed without a word being spoken. But, by now, Circe would likely know he was building himself up to something.

"Ma said..." James started, before swallowing his words with a small shake of his head as his eyes moved away from Circe. Why were these things never easy to deal with? Why weren't they easy to talk about? Frowning to himself, James fell quiet for a time again. Thinking things through before he started his sentence again.

Settling on his original plan, James rolled on to his side, eyes on Circe in that moment. "Ma said... asked if the baby has kicked yet." James explained to Circe carefully, taking a small breath as his eyes moved to her bump and then back to Circe's eyes. "But... I couldn't answer." He finished. It wasn't a direct question from him, and perhaps that had been why James had found it slightly easier than asking from his own point of view.

But, really, it was simply a veil for the fact James wanted to know for himself, but a way of admitting he didn't know how to do that.

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Circe Mayer
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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Sat May 20, 2017 2:44 pm

"Can't I make you breakfast and be up early every once in a while?"

Circe couldn't hide the smirk that touched her lips at the sound of these words. James was obviously trying to be somewhat of a good boyfriend and soon to be dad, but to Circe it was just not enough. Yes, it was James and he was not the man who would be extremely romantic and caring but Circe was still a woman. A pregnant woman. And it hurt her too much that he was not in the least interested whether she or the baby were okay. He hadn't even asked her about it.

"I wouldn't push it that far."

It was expected. James had already done enough for the next year to show his 'love' for her. So even talking about it was making him uncomfortable. And Circe had accepted that, believing that it would get better with time. That slowly, he would open up to her even just a little bit. But lately it had been quite rough for her. She needed to feel him close. Feel that he actually cared and he didn't even talk to her. As if he was avoiding the life growing inside her.

"Ma said..."

He was fumbling with his words. Again. His mother had been very supportive. Always calling to check up on them, and that was why Circe believed that his mother would urge him to help her more. Would push him to the point where he would open his mouth and for once in his life to talk to her. Ask her. Express the feelings that he never really did. They were not teenagers anymore.

Ma said... asked if the baby has kicked yet. But... I couldn't answer."

Circe frowned. He couldn't even be straightforward about it. He was asking on behalf of his mother. As if he didn't care about it. As if it was no big deal. Circe fought back the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. Pregnancy was not helping her handle her emotions at all.
"Well, tell your mom that she can come talk to me about it. If she'd like."

Taking a deep breath, the witch turned to look at him and shook her head, sudden anger taking over her.
"And to be able to answer her questions, about our child, you need to care enough to ask."
Pushing the covers away, Circe took her time to get up, completely ignoring the breakfast he had made her. She was not hungry anymore.

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Sun May 21, 2017 8:34 am

As Circe grew angry - he could see it in her features, James was not so stupid as to not be able to see he'd upset her - James knew he'd approached this subject in completely the wrong manner. His aim had not been to upset her, no, his aim had been to try and engage on the topic of the small life growing inside of his girlfriend, without being completely straightforward with the conversation.

It was a kick in the stomach, to say the least, when Circe said that he didn't care enough about their baby. He did care. Quite a lot. He just didn't know how to show that in a manner that... didn't feel forced. Circe was on the move, though, hindered by the bump, but getting out of bed before James could catch a hold of her.

Getting back out of the bed, James moved around the bed and cut her off before Circe could leave the bedroom. One thing that was clear was that Circe's words had hurt, it showed in his eyes, in his features. Only mildly, but Circe knew him well enough to denote the small changes in his expression.

James paused for a moment of two, though, trying to think through his words, before simply going for it. "Can't you see that's what I'm trying to do, Circe?" James asked, raising an eyebrow slightly at the fact she could not see his attempt as that. "I don't know how I'm supposed to talk about these things. Ma said that she was forever telling Da about how I was when she was pregnant, but you haven't mentioned anything.

"Has he even kicked?" James asked, motioning to the bump of her belly. He'd asked directly, surely that had to count for something, even if he was terrified about the answer.

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Sun May 21, 2017 8:59 am

As James came to a halt in front of her, Circe sighed and took a good look at his face. He was concerned even a bit hurt, and even if it wasn't showing much, Circe was able to read the slight hints he was giving. Maybe she had overreacted just a tiny bit, but she was a pregnant woman for Merlin's sake! Her hormones where jumping around causing all sorts of drama without even asking her about it.

"Can't you see that's what I'm trying to do, Circe?"

Of course she could see. But she didn't want to. For once, she wanted him to be straightforward and stop avoiding everything. For once she wanted him to express his feelings and concerns. She wanted, no, needed him, to man up for once.
"I can see. I'm just tired of it. Tired of you not expressing a single thing to me. I need you to talk, James! I feel alone!"

"I don't know how I'm supposed to talk about these things. Ma said that she was forever telling Da about how I was when she was pregnant, but you haven't mentioned anything. Has he even kicked?"

Circe rolled her eyes and huffed. Pushing him back she moved towards the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Circe wanted to cry. She looked so old and beaten. How old was she now? 32? Old. After washing her face, Circe leaned over the sink, steadying herself before speaking up.

"It's a girl, James. And yes, she has been kicking quite a lot."

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Sun May 21, 2017 9:15 am

James said nothing in response to Circe's accusation of him not talking to her enough. His jaw set just a little bit, because Merlin Circe knew that this was not easy for him. He didn't like opening up about things, ever. But, she was trying to force him in to such things, and he did not like that for a moment.

Retaliating, though, was likely not going to end well, truth be told.

Being pushed aside, James didn't give up, instead, following Circe and leaning on the door frame as she washed herself up. If she really wanted to talk, then he'd try, but running off around the flat was not really going to help either of them.

"It's a girl, James. And yes, she has been kicking quite a lot."

The news - or idea - that they were having a girl was not something James had considered for even a moment. He'd been sure, since day one, that they would have a son. James had been referring to their child as such, too, to his Ma, in his head, if people had asked him. Circe telling him they were having a girl would not alter that idea, either.

"Why didn't you tell me?" James asked from where he was. "Or... you know, let me feel? Isn't that what you're supposed to do when he kicks? Let me know so I can feel it, too?" He prompted. The tone had started hard, but, by the end, James was somewhat... not upset, but, obviously more hurt by the notion that he'd been missing out.

Oh, he knew he held some of the blame, he was not stupid, but he was missing out on vital bonding time. For what? A misinterpretation of his inability to discuss their child? It was hardly fair.

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Wed Jun 07, 2017 1:34 pm

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Why? Circe turned to look at him as if he had grown a second head, all of a sudden. She knew that he was trying, she was not stupid. But she was a woman, and even if she had accepted and loved him with all his flaws, she was growing tired of waiting around and guessing whether James wanted to know or not about things. If he wanted something, he should grow a pair and ask himself. It saddened her to watch other men being over the moon, knowing they would become fathers, whilst James just... nothing.

"Or... you know, let me feel? Isn't that what you're supposed to do when he kicks? Let me know so I can feel it, too?"

He was being hard with her. He was hurt, she could see that, but so was she. They were going to be parents and he was still acting like a five year old. Hell, their daughter could be smarter than him!
"James, I don't have to do anything. If you wanted to feel, you could have asked me to. I won't run around the house every time, throwing information at you. If you need something, ask the damn question."

Pushing him aside once again, Circe moved out of the bathroom, and towards the kitchen, completely ignoring the breakfast he had made for her. She didn't want to fight with him. She just wanted him to openly care.

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PostSubject: Re: Baby's Moving! (Circe & James)   Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:47 pm

As Circe pushed him from her path once more the frustration in James grew once more. Why did she have to make this so much more difficult than it already was without having to force his way in to situations where he was clearly not wanted -- because surely Circe would have mentioned it if she'd wanted him to feel their son kicking, wouldn't she?

However, he was going to persevere, because he'd started, and there was little else to do now.

Following Circe in to the kitchen -- taking note that she'd ignored the effort he'd gone to -- and leaned against the work surface as Circe tried to ignore him. He allowed a moment, two, to pass before he spoke.

"I had figured you would share the information as and when it came up. I assumed that this would be how it worked, what you would be comfortable with. However, it seems I was wrong, Circe, but pushing me away now is not going to aid anything, is it? I'm trying to open up, and you're not-" James cut himself off, shaking his head. What was the point?

"Just... tell me when the baby kicks next, so I can actually feel, okay?" James finalised, clearly fed up of this conversation and trying to get through to Circe who always seemed to want more from him. If she'd wanted someone like that...

He cut the thought off.

"Don't forget your breakfast in the bedroom." James reminded her, deciding that he was never going to make that effort again as he made his way to the sofa, flopping down on it and picking up the remote. The TV was on only a few moments later, and James no longer had interest in trying to talk.

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