Defence Against the Dark Arts, Lesson One (All Years)

As Jake gently corrected Mimosa's answer, Mercy couldn't help but recall her many transformations, each one blurring together into one collective experience. Redressing herself in the morning was always a difficult task; she could almost feel an ache in her bones as she thought about it. She saw herself stumbling, crawling across the floor, dragging her clothes on with painstaking slowness as her limbs screamed in protest. Every month it was the same, yet it got no easier.

She tore herself from the memories as another voice answered. It was an older Slytherin. Her answer was factual and somewhat sympathetic, and it filled Mercy with relief. This wasn't going as poorly as she had feared. The class so far seemed impartial for the most part.

She turned her head as Squid Boy spoke up from behind her. Mercy didn't know him all that well, but he tended to tag along with Mimosa's group. He was quiet, so Mercy had never really paid him much mind beyond occasional playful teasing.

His first words were true enough, but as he continued to speak, Mercy began to feel uneasy. A sinking feeling crept upward from her feet and her stomach twisted violently as the word "amusing" hit her ears like a wrong note, dissonant and jarring. She blinked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"If a werewolf doesn't take a Wolfsbane Potion on the night of the Full Moon, they could end up killing their whole family, their friends, or even complete strangers if they don't."

With every word, Mercy's grip tightened around Mimosa's hand. They seemed to echo around her head, her deepest fears voiced so casually, so flippantly. Killing...family...friends... Images flashed before her eyes: her parents, Mimosa, Dia, Janine. She could kill them all if she wasn't careful. Even Squid Boy didn't know the full extent of it. It wasn't just on the full moon that she had to take Wolfsbane, it was every night for the week leading up to it. One missed dose and she could lose control. It hadn't happened yet, but it easily could. Killing their whole family. She'd heard the stories. She knew it was true.

One word jumped out from among the rest, though. Amusing. Amusing? Mercy's brow furrowed. At this point she realized her breathing had become steadily quicker and more laboured, first with fear, and then with outrage. Amusing?! In what world was that amusing? Who in their right mind thought that was amusing? Who the bloody hell was Squid Boy to find her greatest fear amusing?!

The rest of Squid Boy's answer, about the list and how it wouldn't work, only served to fan the flames as Mercy locked eyes with him for a split second. All thought of staying hidden retreated to the back of her mind as she glared with fierce intensity, hoping he could feel her anger from where he stood. Her chest heaved visibly and her hands shook and she wanted to punch his smug little face until he apologised or never spoke again.

Jake interrupted before Squid Boy could say anything else, but Mercy was almost disappointed. She could tell he had more to say, and she wanted to hear it. Every word he spoke would make it feel that much better to see him in the hospital wing with a broken jaw.

Though Jake continued the lesson, Mercy never took her eyes off Squid Boy, daring him to say something else, to give her an excuse. She heard the next question, but barely processed it over the rage bubbling in her chest.

The first indication that something had gone wrong came in the form of a painful sensation in her hand. Surprised at where the pain was originating from, Mimosa glanced down to see her and Mercy's fingers intertwined like always,and yet something was really hurting. The witch tried to ignore it though, in the hopes that it would pass, instead focusing on what everyone was saying. This was not the first time the girl had felt pain in Defense Against the Dark Arts and last time, Jake had fixed her up in a minute so maybe she was now super resistant.

But it was getting harder to focus when her fingers were being crushed, yet the brunette could not understand why. they weren't battling a magical creature like last time. Her hand was safely in mercy's so it had no cause to hrut the way it was hurting right now. the young witch bravely held in ehr pain, instead raising her free hand to distract herself by answering Jake's next question.

"Umm..." she began, trying not to stutter from the pain while she spoke. "Squid Boy says they're dangerous to people. So what about other wolves? Or puppies, or ponies? Can we not just turn into another animal to speak to them and then they won't hurt us.. Ouch!" The last part hadn't been intended but it came out regardless, the witch snatching her hand out of Mercy's as it finally clicked.

It took only a second to notice the bruising around her fingers, reminding her that like the Gryffindor's Lupus, she too suffered form a medical condition. Trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill at the sight of her fingers, Mimosa snatched her hand quickly out of Mercy's sight and tucked behind her back. The only thing worse than getting hurt would be to make Mercy think she had done something to hurt the young Slytherin.

If Mercy cared to notice, she would see soft red welts along her own palm where, when the pain had grown too much, Mimosa's stinging hex had come into effect of it's own violation - her body's automatic response to pain and the only defense mechanism it had against the hurt.

Mercy was still fuming, glaring intensely at Squid Boy, when she registered Mimosa speaking up beside her. She didn't really process anything she heard until Mimosa yelped and snatched her hand away. Mercy jumped backward, attention snapping to Mimosa, quickly taking in the Slytherin's pained expression. Her gaze flicked down to Mimosa's hand, which the younger girl quickly tucked behind her back, but not before Mercy caught a glimpse at the bruising on her fingers. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd done.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry!" She clapped her own hands to her mouth, not noticing the stinging of her own palm. "I'm so, so sorry, I..." All of the emotions crashed down on her at once, her throat closing up as she fought against the stinging in her eyes, pressing her trembling hands tightly against her lips to stop them from quivering. She'd forgotten that Mimosa's bones were fragile. She'd forgotten she'd been squeezing her best friend's hand. Some friend you are, a voice in her head scoffed bitterly. You don't even need to be a wolf to hurt her.

Mercy squeezed her eyes shut against her tears, memories flooding back to her of Dublin, of old ladies whispering when they thought she couldn't hear, the word monster following her everywhere she went like a shadow she couldn't shake.

"You're not a monster," her mam had said. "No matter what they say. As long as you are kind, you can never be a monster."

"But what if I hurt someone when I turn?"

"You are not the wolf, Mei. Remember that. You, Mercy, will never hurt someone who doesn't deserve it. That's not who you are."

But she had. She had hurt someone. Not the wolf. Her. So what did that make her now?

Mercy staggered backward, putting distance between herself and Mimosa, not trusting herself not to make things worse. She curled her hands against her chest, as if afraid they might betray her again. She glanced toward the door, the class and the other students forgotten as she contemplated escape, finding it suddenly very hard to breathe.