Hold Me Together [Oliver]

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2024

Serenity's 5th year||Oliver's 6th year

Eyes closed, breathing relaxed, Serenity was sprawled on the couch, head resting against Oliver's shoulder, listening to him talk about his day. His voice was soothing, comforting, and she always found a sense of peace whenever she was with him. Days like that were rare, what with exams and studies and classes taking up a lot of their time. Still, they never missed an opportunity to be together, the Room of Requirement becoming their favourite hangout.

She had even managed to convince the Ministry workers that Oliver cared for her enough to be left alone with her -- without Tammie. It had been about six months since this ruling was set into place and Serenity couldn't have been happier. Now, finally, she was getting alone time with her boyfriend -- true, actual alone time, with Tammie only returning when Serenity called for her. It was trust based, with the understanding that if Serenity was ever found alone without Oliver or Tammie, the privilege would be revoked at once.

There was no way Serenity had even thought of breaking this, treasuring her time with Oliver far too much.

A gentle tug on her hair -- not painful in the least -- pulled her out of her thoughts and her smile grew wider. Oliver had a habit of playing with her locks, and whether conscious or not, she loved the feel of his hand in her hair. It was among the only physical touch she actually enjoyed.

"What did you do today?"

The question pushed back to her, she adjusted her position so she fell down onto his lap, head resting on his knees, and looked up into his eyes -- his stunning, beautiful eyes that reminded her of the sky on a clear day -- with a smile. She was no longer afraid of looking at him, despite the risks. No, there were some people whom risks were worth taking for, and Oliver was one of those people.

"Nothing interesting," she answered, still learning that he wanted to hear her speak, even if she hadn't done anything remarkable. "We had a pop quiz for transfiguration," she elaborated. “We were supposed to turn a teacup into a mouse, the mouse into a porcupine, the porcupine into a pin cushion, the pin cushion into a bowl, and then the bowl into a toy sail boat.” She paused to grin a little. “I was the first to finish.”

She was just about to tell him about the new book that arrived by owl when her vision went dark and she automatically braced herself, knowing a vision was on its way. Oliver’s hands were already around her, lifting her up to a seating position so she didn’t accidentally bite her tongue or anything if she started to prophecy, but this barely registered as the image of a younger Slytherin flashed into her mind.

There was a staircase, then, one of the more unpredictable moving ones. A loud scream made her wince, scrunching up her eyes as the sound kept going and going and going for what felt like an eternity, but was only a few quick seconds. And then she was staring at the Slytherin lying at the bottom of the stairs, legs bent in ways they should never be bent, her eyes rolled back into her head.

It was only the tiniest rising and falling of her chest, so shallow it was barely noticeable, that showed Serenity the girl was alive and not, in fact, gone.

The vision ended and, unable to help it, she retched. Stomach empty, nothing came out, but still she felt sick. She’d Seen some horrible things before in her life, but most of the time those had been in the past, or obscure things about strangers she couldn’t interpreted. This was different. This was more personal; she knew the name of the Slytherin, knew her age, knew her.

Without realising what she was doing, she got to her feet. “We’ve got to stop it. She’s only twelve,” she murmured, almost to herself.

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Sitting on the couch in the Room of Requirement with Serenity was something that Oliver had grown to love. It was their space. Their alone time, where not even Tammie could interfere. It had taken them a long time to get here, of course, a lot of frustration that had to be internalised on Oliver's side, but eventually, the Ministry had relented to Serenity's wishes.

Their time together had been turbulent at best. With Serenity's gift, their lives could be nothing else, but Oliver loved Serenity with all of is heart, and he would change nothing about her just so that he could have what was deemed 'normal'.

Oliver sat playing with his girlfriend's hair as he told her in a very soft voice about his day. Classes that had consisted only of tests that he'd done just better than okay in. Lunch with his friends as it was a Wednesday and they'd agreed to have at least one lunch time with just their friends to keep a healthy balance. He'd told her about his Quidditch practice which had gone well, and then Oliver was done with his explanations. Today hadn't been overly exciting, but now he had his beautiful girlfriend to himself, and - as he said - that was the best part of his day.

Watching her lay down with her head in his lap, Oliver pushed her hair gently away from her face, smiling down at the witch lovingly as she explained how her day had not been overly exciting either. Except for the fact she'd come first in the pop quiz. "Well done!" He told her, pride filling his features as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her nose. Serenity was easily the brighter out of the two of them, and, in a way, it had helped Oliver to grow in to his studies having a girlfriend who knew how to study properly.

As Oliver righted himself, though, he could see Serenity's eyes lose their focus, and it was automatic, his response, in getting her upright, and gently holding her to him so that she didn't hurt herself by collapsing, or striking out. Tammie had explained before that Oliver had to look after her, and he'd taken it very seriously from that moment. Whether holding his girlfriend to him made any difference, Oliver didn't know, but it assured him that she was safe. Not vulnerable to being hurt by a vision.

The moment Serenity wretched, Oliver loosened his hold on her small frame, until he knew she was back in control, his hand instead going to her back as he whispered her name softly in question.

But his words didn't register, as instead the witch spoke almost too softly to hear. Getting up from the sofa, Oliver moved to stand between the witch and the door. Tammie had also told Oliver that messing with Prophecies and Visions was not something he was supposed to allow Serenity to do. It made a mess of things... Though, he didn't always believe that was a good reason, Oliver did not wish for Serenity to get hurt, in any way.

"What did you see, Serenity?" Oliver asked her softly, opening his arms to her if she needed it. Documenting the visions were a must, and Oliver made sure to get the information out of Serenity. Not for the Ministry, he didn't care about the Ministry. But so that Serenity did not have to deal with these things alone.

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All she could see were the Slytherin's body in her mind, the twisting of her legs, the scream still echoing in her ears. She swallowed past the nausea. There would be time to throw up later, time to mourn and time to cry. But for now, she had to do something -- anything -- to help. To stop it.

Oh, she knew it wasn't allowed. That messing with timelines was iffy business that could literally destroy the world if she wasn't careful. But surely those were the big things, like the whole thing with Harry Potter and Voldermort. If Neville had been the one Voldermort had gone after instead, things could have very well been different; it was an example she studied back at the Ministry.

This was different, wasn't it? This was about a twelve-year-old Slytherin girl possibly being paralysed for life because of some stupid staircases. Surely -- surely -- this was an exception? She couldn't be expected to sit back and allow something so tragic to happen, not when it would be so easy to put a stop to it. A word to the girl, a simple cushioning charm at the bottom of said stairs, a grabbing of the arm...

Besides, she'd Seen it for a reason, right? What if that reason was that she was meant to stop it, to prevent such tragedy? The ministry couldn't be right all the time. Perhaps Seers saw visions in order to prevent what could happen.

Blinking, she noticed Oliver had appeared in front of her, and a frown touched her features. He was stopping her. His words went over her head, and she ignored his arms, although they were oh-so-tempting.

She knew that he was only doing what was right. She knew that he was doing what he was told, because if he didn't, they might not be allowed to be alone again. She knew that he cared for her -- but none of that mattered in that moment. All she saw was him blocking her, from stopping her helping someone, and something inside her riled up.

"Ask questions later, Oli," she said, voice slightly harder than normal. "Please," she added, in a softer tone. "She's going to be hurt. I can't... I can't let that happen."

Guest

Blocking Serenity's path was not an easy thing to do. Oliver would never, ever, dream of stopping Serenity from doing anything. Except, the Ministry insisted that Serenity did not act on the things she Saw. He'd promised to help her to stick to these rules.

It wasn't even the threat of not being alone that made Oliver stand between her and the door.

It was the fear of the unknown.

Seeing was a gift. A gift that could be exploited. It could be wrong - if misinterpreted. Messing with the things Serenity Saw could cause immeasurable consequences even if they only believed them to be small things. Merlin only knew what the Ministry would do if they found Serenity had disobeyed her. His own happiness, and well being were not the reason he stood before his girlfriend, it was hers, and hers along that had him stood in her way.

The harsh tones that met his ear made Oliver cringe internally. Serenity's emotions were playing with her, she would never normally speak to him like that. It hurt just a tiny bit, but the Hufflepuff remained unmoving. "I can't, Serenity..." The boy replied very softly before she pleaded with him.

But as Serenity spoke of how she could not allow someone to be hurt, Oliver took a deep breath, steeling himself a moment longer because he couldn't... he couldn't allow her to leave this room. "It's not your choice to make, Serenity..." He whispered, stepping cautiously closer to the witch and taking her hand. Oliver's voice dropped down to only a whisper, his eyes already apologetic as he managed to utter the next words.

"You are not... You can't play God." The Hufflepuff tried to explain. "This isn't how this works."

It would tear her to pieces, he knew that, but he would not allow the girl he loved to be chastised for a weakness of will. "Please don't make me make you stay." Oliver added, his voice quite raw, even at a whisper.

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The part of her brain that was logical and methodical appreciated what Oliver was doing. If she did what she was thinking of doing, the effects could ripple across the pond of time and Undo things that were meant to happen, and that could be devastating. Serenity never took this lightly, and so many visions had made her physically sick and yet she did nothing, behaved as she was supposed to. It had been difficult each time, taking every ounce of strength she had to not do something -- anything -- but she'd managed it.

Except today.

Except when it came to someone she knew.

And Oliver, as kind hearted and loving as he was, didn't understand. He didn't See what she did. He didn't have to live with knowing that he could have prevented something awful from happening -- from someone's life being ruined forever -- and not doing anything at all, because it 'wasn't right'. He didn't know the weight of having to live knowing he could have stopped it, but didn't.

He would listen to her and hold her, yes, but that was not the same as living it. And, if Serenity was going to be honest, she was too distraught to think of the implications of what she was thinking.

All she could hear were his words, denying her. Who was he to say what she could or couldn’t do? She had enough of that in the Ministry. Do this, do that. Go here, go there. Say this, say that. They controlled every part of her life since the day she turned up on their doorstep, and she was starting to resent that. She ignored him, saying nothing in reply, continuing to just stare at him, eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly.

He took her hand and she let him, ignoring the single image from his Quidditch practise earlier that shone in her mind. He was wrong. It was her choice. More than that, it was her choice, her decision, her responsibility. She would deal with the backlash, promise whatever it took to get the Ministry to trust her again -- just as long as she got to save this one person.

His words meant nothing. God? Who was that? “What if this ‘god’ showed me this so I could stop it?” she asked, although it was more of a jab than a legitimate question. “How do you know that this ‘god’ doesn’t want me to prevent a twelve year old girl from falling down the stairs? You don’t, Oli. Maybe everyone else has gotten it wrong and Seers have this ability so we can prevent things and not just record the shit we see?”

The word had slipped from her before she quite knew what she was saying, and she had to hold back a wince. She never swore, never used foul words. It just wasn’t in her personality to do so; besides, she knew the power of words, and there weren’t any swear words that could convey something that normal, everyday language couldn’t.

She took a deep breath at his words, trying -- and failing -- to control her emotions. Softly, in a tone that was completely flat, Serenity simply said, “You couldn’t.”

It was no big secret that, if push came to shove, Serenity was just slightly more powerful than Oliver when it came to spells. She’d never once actually considered using that to her advantage (she had no reason to ever want to hurt Oliver), but in that moment all rationality had fled. She wasn't threatening him with her words, no; she was simply stating a fact.

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Oliver knew that standing between Serenity and the Visions was not an easy task. Asking him to block her from an action he would otherwise say was right was a conflict of the moral compass. Would he stop Serenity if she was not a Seer and had, instead, overheard someone scheming to push the girl down the stairs? No. He'd be at her side, running headlong to get there to stop it.

They would have fought the people off, and made sure it didn't happen.

And even if he agreed with her. Even if he wanted to step aside and let her go to the Slytherin witch to save her, Oliver had promised the Ministry that he would not allow her to do such things. To alter the future with her actions, because... well, what if the falling of the witch was the spiral of something bigger. They could change the future forever.

And it might not always be in the manner that benefited the world.

Oliver had... metaphorically, signed up to this when he started dating Serenity. Agreed that they could never be a 'normal' couple - whatever that meant. That their relationship, no matter how long it lasted, would be subjected to her powers. He'd told her a hundred times before that he would not wish to change anything about her, and he wouldn't. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

Oliver could never say, though, that he did not wish that the decisions were easier.

"Serenity... please don't make this out to be something I can change. You know that I... we can't do this." Oliver tried to reason with her, but the use of a swear word told him that reason was not going to work today. Serenity did not have her usual restraint and that could only ever be a problem.

But the sucker punch was the two words Serenity spoke only a moment later. So flat. So blunt. And so true. If Serenity really wanted to get past him, she would. He'd never be able to lay a finger on her. The Hufflepuff would deflect each spell she sent his way, but eventually she would overpower him. The pain was clear in the Hufflepuff's eyes upon hearing those words, his jaw setting momentarily as he looked away from her.

It wasn't the idea of her overpowering him that bothered Oliver. Oh no, Serenity was a much more powerful witch - through knowledge, but also in skill - than he could ever be. It was the idea that she could overpower him to defy the Ministry.

Oliver was not mad at Serenity, this was not her fault. It was the Ministry. Their rules. That was what tested them both.

"Please don't do something that you could..." Oliver paused, regret was not the right word. He doubted Serenity would regret casting him aside to save another. He didn't blame her for being unapologetic for that. Oliver couldn't even ask her to not do it for him. That would be unfair. The sentence remained unfinished, Oliver's eyes simply staying on Serenity.

He was at a loss. The reasons not to fight were heavily outweighed by those that told her to fight. He was just the horrible blockade in the middle. And Oliver simply resigned himself to that fact. Waiting for Serenity's next move.

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His words meant nothing to her, nothing at all, and that dry, logical part of her that felt and cared about nothing realised this was a bad sign, and cautioned her to take a step back before she said something they both regretted. But she didn’t listen, because he wasn’t listening. He didn’t understand. How could he? He was normal, and that word left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Why couldn’t she be normal? Why couldn’t someone else have been left with this curse? Curse, not gift like they tried to convince her. No, it was nothing more than something that destroyed her life. If she could be normal, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t give; and, in that moment, a part of her would be willing to give up Oliver as well.

That was the question, though -- if push came to shove, would she give up the only person she ever loved for a chance at being normal? It wasn’t something she wanted to think about, because she wasn’t sure she’d like the answer -- and she wasn’t sure Oliver would, either.

But she loved him. She really, really did, with all she had. On her hardest days he was there. On the days most difficult to bear, he was always by her side, telling her it was going to be okay. And, even on the darkest nights, she believed him. She believed it was all okay, that she was alright, that things were fine.

Was that enough today? Was his touch, his warmth, his love enough?

No, it wasn’t, and she forced herself to hold her head high, to stare down the one person she cared most about in the world as she saw his jaw clench just for a moment. It was enough to tell her what she was saying had hit its mark, as she intended, and while it didn’t make her feel better, it didn’t do anything to stop the desperate urge to save, help, prevent, disobey.

His plea meant... nothing at all. Serenity was beyond caring -- or rather, she was so far into caring that everything else ceased to matter. All that she wanted to do was save one person -- to prevent the destruction of one life. Was that so wrong?

“I can’t,” she said, but it came out wrong, whispered in a tone that was barely human, and as she heard her own murmur echo in the room, a part of her broke; a single tear rolled down her cheek. “I can’t, Oli. I have to,” she continued, voice thick and barely audible. Without realising what she was doing, she pulled her hands out of his, reached for her wand. It didn’t even register until she felt the cool wood beneath her fingers and blinked to find she had pointed it at Oliver -- at her boyfriend, at the love of her life.

And, as much as she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to lower it.

“I can’t,” she repeated, only slightly louder than before. “Please. Let me do this. Let me save her.”

Guest

The single tear. That, was all that was needed to break Oliver. In truth, Serenity would know this. His mild mannered personality, his love for the witch before him refused to keep him whole when his girlfriend was upset. It did not matter if it was the first time he'd seen the tears, or the hundredth time he'd witnessed the pain boil over as too much for the witch. Oliver swallowed softly as his own emotions bubbled.

Had he ever managed a dry eye when Serenity had cried? He couldn't think of a time he had...

"Serenity..." The Hufflepuff whispered in reply, his tone retreating from its confident 'you can't do this' tone, to one that showed he did not know what it was he was doing anymore. How could you tell someone you loved them and then try to restrict them?

The Ministry had been convincing. That loving Serenity would mean keeping her safe. But was stopping her from saving someone else keeping Serenity safe from the night terrors she'd had for years? Logic fought with orders, orders fought with love, and love fought everything.

Oliver's eyes watched as his body lagged to keep up. His eyes saw Serenity's hand moving towards where she kept her wand. Natural instincts told him to get ready for a fight, but love held his hands at his side. The Hufflepuff merely watching as Serenity pointed her wand at him.

What have you done? His mind asked, but the answer was obvious. He'd held on too tightly, suffocated her too much. For what? The Ministry's games. Games he'd never agreed with, but had always been too scared of breaking. How could he ever defy an organisation so large? He was but one boy, nearly a man, but inconsequential.

It was as if looking in a mirror, really, the single tear that had carved a slow path down Serenity's cheek, leaving an invisible path that Oliver should have been wiping away, was matched by the one now rolling down his own cheek. It was not the impending fight that had brought the tear, violence against him would not bring Oliver to tears. It was who held the wand. Who he'd forced in to holding the wand that made Oliver's tears flow. But he'd given Serenity no choice.

"I won't fight you, Serenity." Oliver managed, his voice wobbling just a little bit. "You can hex me. I won't attempt to stop you. But the Ministry must think I did. Go, go save the witch." He told her, his eyes meeting hers and trying to tell her that it was okay. That if she did, he wouldn't hate her for it.

"Just come back... once it's done." Oliver added softly. He didn't dare to ask for more, how could he? Even that was too much. Oliver simply waited, deflated, for a spell to hit him. So that Serenity could have her freedom. So that the Ministry would not see what they'd really done. So that an innocent life would not be changed forever.

But their love... Oliver wasn't sure Serenity would love him the same way again...

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Oliver began to cry, and as he did the quiet, unfeeling part of her that had taken over told her that his resolve was breaking, that he was coming to close to letting her go. Fear, cold and unsettling and deadly started to creep into her heart as she realised -- fully, truly realised -- what she intended to do.

But, pushing it aside, she kept her gaze unfaltering; she couldn't let Oliver see that her resolve, too, was beginning to waver.

His next words came both as expected and a surprise; a part of her had, somehow, clung on to blind hope that this wasn't the route he would take. But he had, as she expected. The other choice he had wasn't one that he would ever choose, and Serenity had known by instinct that by placing him in this position, she got her way.

He would not fight her. Oliver had courage, and he was braver than almost everyone she knew, and he would be willing to take on a thousand men alone if it meant protecting the ones he loved -- but he would not fight her. No, he cared for her too much to ever do that.

It became a question, in that moment, not of 'could' -- that was, without hesitation, a yes -- but a 'would'. Would she hex him? Would she hurt the only person who fully knew her and fully loved her?

It was also a question of why. Why would she do it? And, more importantly, why did she have to? The answer was simple -- the ministry. If -- and perhaps when -- she hexed him, it will be because the ministry wouldn't allow them to be together if Oliver had let her go without a fight. This way he would be without blame. Everything, one way or another, led back to them, the ones who controlled her life.

Come back. The words etched themselves into her mind, a worm burying deeper into her conscience that somehow, despite everything, still existed. Why wouldn't she? She loved him, and for someone who didn't truly understand what feelings were (despite him doing his best to explain them) that was saying something. He was her whole world. If good things were like stars in the night, he was the sun; he chased away the darkness entirely.

Serenity knew, then, what had to be done.

"Please," she whispered, breaking the loud silence; still she did not -- could not -- remove the wand from his face; her grip was too tight. Her cheeks were wet, tears dripping onto the ground in a steady rhythm, and she wondered when she had begun to cry. There had been a temporary blur when her eyes had filled, and she vaguely recalled blinking, but when the tears had formed she couldn't remember. But it didn't matter, and as they continued to stream down, she swallowed, adding to the lump in her throat, and focused on getting her words out.

Slowly, painfully, she forced out one word at a time, deep breaths in between as she gathered up the frays of sanity in her mind: "Please. Stop. Me."

As soon as the last word left her lips, it was as though the dam had broken, and her thoughts began to pour out in an endless stream. Her voice was soft, cracking every other syllable, but steady and unrushed. "I can't do this. You know I can't. It's not right -- it's not right. The consequences will be worse than the weight of not having done it, and I don't mean just the ministry. Time isn't to be messed with. We know that. It's not safe. Not right. I can't do it; I know I can't. But I can't stop myself. It's too hard, too painful, too awful. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard everything hurts; places I never knew existed in me hurt. But I can't -- I just can't. I need you to stop me. You have to stop me. Please. Please."

And then the doors were shut and once again Serenity found herself unable to talk, staring at the tip of the wand still pointed in her boyfriend's face; and in the quiet that followed, the tears continued to drip, echoes of tap tap tap against the wooden floor.

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The silence that grew after he'd spoken was uncomfortable. Oliver wanted to shout at her, to tell her to do it, provoke the attack because... that was what she needed, wasn't it? A push in the right direction. But, it was Serenity, Oliver couldn't be less than soft with his girlfriend because she had to deal with so much on a daily basis, the mere idea of pushing her was too much to bare, so Oliver simply kept her eyes on hers, waiting for her to mumble the spell of her choice, to go.

Oliver didn't know, though, what was taking her so long to do the thing that was right. This was what she wanted, so why was she stalling? A frown began to touch the Hufflepuff's features in that moment, trying to understand what was about to happen, but not in any way knowing what Serenity was going through in her head.

The soft please made Oliver shake his head. He would not stop her. Serenity must have known that as she continued to try to explain why he had to stop her. His head continued to shake, watching the tears slide down Serenity's cheeks as the wand stayed raised in his face.

It was no longer a question of if Serenity would use it, the question was when.

"No, Serenity." Oliver replied to her broken plea to stop her, his voice breaking as he watched another tear roll down her cheek.

But Serenity's pleas were unrelenting, she continued and Oliver wanted to cave in, to try to take her on, to stop her. But, there was no use, he could never beat her... Even if he wanted to stop her.

"You're asking me to stop you, Serenity, from doing the one thing that will keep your conscience free. That will stop you from feeling guilty when you see the witch in future. You're asking me... you're asking me to stop you, so that you can hate me for doing so. I... I can't Serenity. I want you to be happy!" He insisted, all but shaking now as he watched the wand just in front of him.

"Damn well take the shot, Newman! Then go!" He insisted, his tone much harder than he had wanted it to come out. "I'm tired of living by the Ministry's rule..." He added defeated, closing his eyes and waiting for the witch to just do it.

Oliver could not argue anymore. This was tiring, it hurt, and the tears... the tears would not stop. A stronger man could have dealt with this, he was sure, but he couldn't.

"Go... and then we can stop you from hurting..." Oliver said, his eye still closed, because if he saw another tear fall down his girlfriend's cheek, he'd never be able to forgive himself.

» Marilyn Caldwell
» Now let me hold your hand (Victoria)
» All Will Be Well [Oliver]
» Oliver Francis Goulding
» The Truth (Kamren, Oliver & Serenity)