A Different Way of Living [Tess] [TW: Swearing]

Guest

Dear Tess,

I am far more fluent when I put pen to paper, so perhaps this might be less shocking for you than our first conversation. I shall strive not to swear and hurt your delicate ears (or in this case, eyes, I assume). The art of letter-writing is one engrained deeply into me, and my communication with my father and some of my friends from that side of the world occurs in this fashion, after all.

Okay, that only took me like, three minutes to write and I'm already bored as f--k. Sorry. I can't do it. I like you far too much to subject you to the f---ery that is Cordelia. I mean if you REALLY want me to be Schaefer I can. She's boring as f--k and a pretentious bitch, but you're probably used to that. (I don't mean you are one. It's just that the Pureblood scene is FULL of them, and you're prominent in that scene.)

Honestly, idek why I'm writing. I have nothing much to say. xD I just like you and wanted to keep in touch, not like those f---ers who say that they'd "love to write sometime" and never do. (I've done that. xD Honestly. The amount of times I've said it to assholes I never want to see again at parties my dad forces me to attend... Anyway, not the point.)

Okay, so like, I'm writing this in class because it's BOOOORING and I'm bored, so I gotta end this quickly before I'm caught.

<3
Delia
xoxo

Guest

Guest

Dear Tess,

What can one say other than I am a girl of many surprises and should not be underestimated? Patience is something practised and learnt over time; it is a necessity if one wants to function successfully in the world of politics -- and make no mistake, Pureblood balls are nothing more than a location in which to show off status, and, by default, could be said to be a government building in which politics is the only game.

If you notice, I am also trained in the art of cursive, although it takes me a little longer.

Annnnddddd my patience has run out, lol. I can usually manage it well enough for father or people I HAVE to act all posh for, but when it comes to friends (yes, that means you), I can't be f***ed. I think I've said this before but I like you too much to be fake. XD

Huh. That's not nice of him. He used to read mine, too, back when I lived with him. So what I'd do is write a proper one and then use muggle invisible ink (it's not magic like ours; it's... idk how to explain it. It's a trick, kind of) with the REAL message to my friends, lol. He never figured it out. It's uhm, quite simple. It's ink that can only be read under certain light -- OV? UV? I forget -- and so if you point that type of light at it, it appears, but not otherwise.

I still have a few of those torchlights and containers of ink on me if you ever need or want.

Alternatively, use lemon juice and water. Idk how but when you heat up a paper (hold it to a light source) the lemon juice becomes visible.

Wait. We're not already proper friends? What the f**k? I thought we were. I'm hurt, Tess.

I'm kidding. Yeah, we're proper friends. Wouldn't have written to you in the first place if we weren't!

I thought of another solution.

How would you feel about...

Wait for it.

...
...
...
...
...
...

A MUGGLE PHONE?!

Lmk.

<3,
Delia
xoxo

Guest

Guest

Dear Tess,

If you really want I COULD write cursive consistantly with you. xD Your grandmere sounds like a bitch. My tutor just gave me sweets when I did it right. THAT worked like a charm.

Oh, I'm not worried. YOU, on the other hand? If he reads my letters he might not approve. I know many don't lol. Boys aren't unsavory, Tess. Boys are FUN. xD ESPECIALLY in the bedroom. But girls are more fun, imho. Does that mean you can't write to girls either? XD

Bitch, please. I'll teach you. It's not HARD. I'll teach you. Yeah. Know what? I know what I'm getting you for your birthdayyyyy. Jk. Idek when your birthday is. Maybe one day you'll just get a box and you'll open it and SURPRISE BITCH it's a smartphone. And iPhone, naturally. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Razz

I'm teasing, don't fret your pretty little head.

<3,
Delia
xoxo

Guest

Guest

Dear Tess,

I never said she wasn't wonderful. I said she was a bitch. I'M a bitch and I'm f***ing wonderful. The two aren't mutually exclusive. ;) There are two kinds of 'bitches'. The good kind and the awful kind. It's an artform in itself to figure out which I mean. xD Where's the f***ing fun in f***ing cleaning up my f***ing language?

Okay, even I admit that was a bit much. I was being sarcastic, if you couldn't tell. Eh. There's something pleasurable in using words you aren't allowed to. Makes me tingle with joy. (Also sarcasm.)

MUST you make me spell it out for you? SEX. S E X is fun. Bedroom fun. Well hey, if you can't have fun with boys, have fun with girls. xD Nobody will suspect that, not from you, lol. GASP! TESS HOLMES have you made out with a boy? The horror! The shame! The ... I'm out of adjectives.

How was it? Like it? Was there tongue? Did he taste nice? I prefer kissing girls myself, but boys are alright.

Then we'll just make sure he never finds out. Mine never did. Still thinks I have no idea what pornhub is. (I don't even think he KNOWS that exists. Never mind.)

Mine is 30 April. :)

<3,
Delia
xoxo

Guest

Guest

Dear Tess,

When will you learn that my skin is thicker than the backside of a horny dragon? I very highly doubt you could say anything that offended me in the slightest. In fact, if you do, I'll buy you a f***ing castle, for it would be a celebratory feat indeed. Seriously; if you manage to ever offend me, I would be so surprised I'd forget to be offended, and then congragulate you for saying something so vulgar, so rude, so [other adjective] that it bothered ME.

Obviously they are too in mine.

Or at least, they're meant to be, lol. Guess I'm a rebel. (Who ever would have thought, eh? Innocent, meek, gentle me, a rebel?! The horror!)

That's incredible. And a shame.

Wait.

Family gathering... TESS HOLMES DID YOU WILLINGLY PARTAKE IN INCEST?! NO WONDER he's not on the list! He could've been your cousin! I'm shocked, truly, I am. You've shaken me to the very core. I thought more of you, Tess. I truly did. I am also impressed you did not mind incest. That is a step too far, even for me. xD

I shall endeavour to remember that. If you remember that incest is bad. xD

I've noted yours, too; it's closer than mine, at any rate.

Hey! I've got an idea. How about we run away for a while? Go to another country and just chill in idk, Rome or something?

Love,
Delia.
xoxo

Guest

» Living dangeriously (Anya)
» Living Up to Expectations (Open)
» Wicked Temptation [Tess]
» Way Above the Rooftops (Delia - TW Swearing)
» Movie Marathon [Tess]