The Awakening - Purple - February, 2010 (Alexagramma)

Annagramma had known there would a price to pay for spending that evening with Alex out in the gardens, huddled into his embrace until the break of dawn. There always was. And she willingly paid it every time.

When she had returned to her room the next morning, trying to move as silently as possible, she had found Simon snoring heavily on her bed, his stink all over the sheets, pillows and rugs. He must have been confused at some point in the night, as he had mistaken her closet for the bathroom. His aim must have been unsteady too as most of the dresses hanging in the front row now smelled strongly of urine.

Instead of trying to find something clean to wear and risk waking him, Anna had curled up on the floor furthest away from the bed, her legs folded into herself, her golden head on her knees and her arms squeezing her slender body so tight as if doing so would make her invisible.

It hadn't.

And it was a good thing she hadn't changed. At least this dress already had a rip in it.

When Simon was done with her, the blonde lay on the bathroom floor, blood leaking from inside her, down her thighs and on to the white tiles. Her shoulder was bent at an unnatural angle and a dark bruise was beginning to form under one eye. Strands of her blonde hair littered the bathroom floor, the carpets in the bedroom on which they had been dragged and a few threads were caught around Simon's fingers from when he had twisted his fist inside them.

He had told everyone she was sleeping off the party. But when she emerged from her room two days later, it was obvious Annagramma Hawkeye had gotten little sleep.

And Alex was - once again, - gone.

***

January melded into February monotonously. Simon's mood seem to improve over the weeks, making him somewhat apologize for his behavior. He had been drunk. His friends had egged him on. They were assholes. And it was now a token of feminism anyway, no big deal. Every other high society girl had nudes out.

And it was her fault for making him so very angry. If she had only stayed where she was...

Anna listened to it all without really hearing it. She knew there was no point in objecting, no use going to anyone who would help. The only person in this house who could help her was gone on some kind of course in preparation for his exams in June. And even if her Alex was here, she couldn't tell him.

The idea of being sent away from this house, away from Alex, was a lot worse than an occasional bruise, cut or burn on her body. She would eventually heal from what Simon did to her. Losing Alex would be fetal.

On the fourteenth of February, Annagramma woke up to something that was becoming less and less familiar in this house - the will to want to do something. Simon must have noticed her little spark because he rolled over, kissing her roughly on the lips.

'Happy Valentine's Day, Annie."

"Is that what today is?" the blonde asked, confusion touching her features. Simon let out a derisive guffaw.

"Of course idiot. Isn't that why you're looking happy, because you can't wait to give me my present tonight?" his pronounced wink made her stomach turn. But there were many hours between now and night time, she didn't have to think about it now.

"Will you be at work all day?" she asked instead, trying to stay put where she was when every inch of her body wanted to move away from his. Her nightdress was once again gone from her body, and the blanket she currently shared with the man was the only thing protecting her from exposure.

"Unless you'd rather I call in sick," Simon suggested, his hand finding her breast under the blanket and giving it a hard squeeze. Anna tried not to flinch.

"You better not, or Johnson will make sure your supervisor hears about it. A lot."

"Fuck Johnson," her fiancé grumbled but it worked. He rolled over and slid out of bed, leaving Anna alone for now. The girl waited until he was properly gone before getting out of bed, hopping into the shower and cleaning herself of his smell and taste and touch as best she could. Once done, she dried her hair and pulled on a dark green turtleneck over a pair of skinny jeans and made her way to the kitchen.

Today was going to be a good day, she knew. Because despite the cold frosting the windows and gardens beyond, she could feel a bubble of orangey sunshine inside her somehow.

Which meant Alex was coming home today.

And she was going to make him a cake.

With the happenings of December, Alex had found himself receding from the family home once again. The stolen moment with Annagramma was all that it could ever been -- stolen, for a moment, and nothing more. The close proximity to the witch had reminded him exactly what he had lost out on in the summer, and he couldn't face it any longer. Performing only the expected duties of Christmas, Alex had then disappeared from the family's view. Sequestered away in George's second or third property -- who really knew how many there were -- Alex had done what his brother had encouraged at the end of the summer, unable to find any solace in the act, but at least feeling less alone that he had in the moments around those meetings.

His courses had started in late January -- a distraction from the loneliness that ebbed at him constantly.

The courses, he found, had been something of a step up from the lessons at Ilvermorny. Probably, he told himself, because he hadn't really studied business before then, or perhaps because this academia was at a level he was not quite comfortable with entirely. He had not taken to the course like a fish to water, but he had found the course incredibly interesting. The large books that came with the courses had been daunting to the young man, but, as daunting as they might have been they filled a void in his life that kept him from focusing entirely on Annagramma, and what she might have been doing back at the family home.

***

It was an oddity, waking on the morning of Valentine's Day to not find Annagramma's face only millimetres from his own. Over the years, he'd wondered how Annagramma could keep track of such a trivial holiday, but not of more important dates in the calendar. He'd not really thought about the date, in truth, until he'd gotten out of bed.

"Gotta run back home to your wife?"

Alex froze, spinning back around.

A red head lay in his bed, and for the life of him...

"Can't remember bringing me home, huh?" She asked. "I'm not surprised, you were quite out of it last night."

"I'm sorry..."

"Tabitha."

"Tabitha, I don't-"

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better." She insisted with a small laugh. "I came home with you because I knew you weren't going to make a connection and be calling me for days after. We both got what we wanted."

"I don't have a wife." Alex told the woman, belatedly.

"That's what they all say."

"I don't have a reason to lie to you." Alex pointed out, and Tabitha laughed in return, nodding to concede that point. "I just... have someone I need to see."

"Say no more." Tabitha insisted, getting out of bed and hurrying to collect her clothes. "I have places to be too, so I'm glad you're not insisting on making me breakfast."

"You wouldn't want me to, I'm sure." Alex laughed.

For the next ten minutes, the duo passed it by with idle small talk. Nothing of note, and definitely no commitment. As the door closed behind Tabitha, Alex had pulled out his phone, expectantly trying to find a message from Annagramma, and coming up short. He shouldn't have been so hopeful, and yet...

And yet, there he was, half an hour and a shower later, walking through the front door of the Quinn's house. No one was there to receive him as he hadn't been expected, but he didn't mind that. Being pointed in the direction of the kitchen, Alex had smiled to himself as he entered through the door to find Annagramma covered in flour, making a cake.

"Guess who?" Alex asked, reaching to cover Annagramma's eyes as he did so.

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~ American (turned French) ~ Profile ~ 38 ~

Time had a most annoying way of speeding up when she was doing something fun, Annagramma had learned. From painting to swimming under the water to baking a cake for Alex, it always flew by. Normally, it was the very person she was baking a cake for that kept track of the hands on the clock, but without him, when noon came and went, the blonde witch had no idea.

All she knew was that she would use purple icing for this one.

The girl wasn't the best baker, she knew it. She also knew it didn't matter. When they were fourteen, she had baked Alex a cake with washing powder instead of sugar, and he had eaten the whole slice without saying a single word. It was only after that the school nurse had determined what had happened when bubbles were coming out of his ears and nose.

Today, Anna had made sure that salt was salt and sugar was sugar and flour was flour. She had even tasted the batter just to be extra sure. When the cake came out of the oven, it looked a little more oval than round, and maybe slightly lopsided, but it was good enough to decorate.

Anna had found the Quinn's large kitchen well stocked with baking supplies, and chosen her favorite tips to put at the end of pristine, unused piping bags. The blonde was just rounding off the bright purple cream when she felt it. The sunshine that procured directly unto her heart whenever he was nearby. Her entire face lit up as she felt Alex cover her eyes from behind.

"Alex!" she let out a joyful scream, jumping around and attaching her small frame to his body like a koala, hands wrapped around his neck, legs cinching his knees and her golden head - fairly dusted with flour and sugar - finding its place on his broad chest. "I knew you would come, I just knew it! That's why I baked you a cake." The girl tried to motion to the cake on the counter, not realizing that she was still holding the piping bag in her fingers, which in turn were were knotted around the base of the man's neck. The movement made the bag burst, resulting in purple icing leaking down his shirt.

"Oops," the girl laughed fully for the first time in months before bringing one hand to the front while balancing on him with her other limbs. Alex had unconsciously reached out to support her by placing a hand under her hip. Placing a purple fingertip on her lips, she sucked gently before declaring. "Umm, you must taste delicious."

The reaction had been exactly as Alex had thought it might be. The excitement on Annagramma's face was worth it, and made his mind up that, yes, this had been the right decision after all, if it meant seeing her in this manner, being close to the witch could never be the wrong decision to make.

Even if his brain tried to convince him otherwise.

"Of course I would come to see you." Alex replied with a laugh as his arms wrapped around the witch's waist. "It's Valentine's Day, and the tradition... is a tradition." He told her, though it was probably not the best explanation. He'd just been drawn to the house, to Anna, because she had been missing on his pillow this morning, and he just... needed to see her.

The oops that came from Anna had Alex letting out a soft laugh as he looked to the shoulder that was now covered in a very vivid purple icing. "Anna," Alex said in a mock-stern voice -- he couldn't really be mad at her, of course, but she had likely just made a mess of his shirt that would leave a telltale sign if they didn't get to it soon. "What are you like?" He laughed, setting the witch down gently on the counter before him before she fell from her flailing around.

"Wanna get that off, before it stains?" He prompted her, turning his shoulder towards the redhead with a warm smile.

"And, a cake? Why are you baking me a cake when you didn't even know I was going to be here?" Alex asked, not in the least surprised that she had done so, but trying to understand regardless.

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~ American (turned French) ~ Profile ~ 38 ~

His laughter poured like honey over her ears, a sound she hadn't known she was missing so much until it was right there. For a moment, Annagramma just wanted to lean forward and place her lips on his, trying to swallow his warm, shining laughter so she could keep it inside her for when he was away.

"What are you like?"

"Yours," she replied simply as he set her down. It was an easy answer because it was a true one. She had always been his, and always would be. He was the silly one for asking such an obvious question.

At the notion of taking his shirt off, Anna shook her head. "I think purple looks quite nice on you," she giggled before pulling him towards her, now firmly sat on the countertop. Reaching up, she began to undo the buttons of his pristine white shirt.

"And I always know when you're coming, this morning I wake up and I knew you'd be here, So I started on the cake." The cake in question lay a few feet away from where she sat, partly still white because she had been distracted mid icing. the words "To My Alex," clearly written on it in chucky letters. "And I promise there's no washing powder this time, I tasted it at every step." The witch waited for him to acknowledge her good work before the volley of questions started.

"Where have you been? What's a "course", no one will tell me what ac-kah is but they say you're doing it. Can I do it too? It doesn't sound very difficult. Did you make any new friends? Do they have pets? Do they have cats? People with cats are brown, and not the good kind."

There was the briefest of moments, where an energy slipped between the two of them. Almost tempting, but then it was gone. Alex had felt that feeling quite often, but he knew better than to act upon it -- especially now. He had to now. Which was only made more prominent when Annagramma insisted that she was his. That comment made the boy sober a little bit in that moment. "No, Anna, you're Simon's fiance now, not mine, so you can't... you can't say that any more."

He didn't want to admonish her, but he also needed her to understand how that would look to the rest of the world.

"Or, if that's what you think, then it's our little secret, alright?"

He shouldn't have said it, and yet the boy couldn't help it, he was much too happy with the notion of Annagramma being his, and that was why he had to try to not make that a thing that was known away from them.

As she reached for his shirt, Alex gently swatted her hands from his buttons. "Not the shirt, get the icing off, Anna." Alex laughed, shaking his head at her misconception of his words. It was the problem with their friendship, it had gotten much too comfortable over the years, but he would try to keep the line. In doing so, he would turn slightly, to allow Anna to clean off the icing she'd spilled, and from there, he would use his wand to finish the job.

The cake, though, brought Alex's attention back towards the witch, and then to it. It was, much like things usually were with Anna, childlike, but it had a charm to it that he found endearing. Moving along the counter a little, Alex grabbed a knife and cut out a slice, bringing it up to his mouth without waiting for Anna to explain she'd checked it all. This time, it didn't taste like soap -- a thankful miracle -- but the quantities of each ingredient had definitely not been checked to a recipe. Much too sweet, and with a lump or two of flour which hadn't properly mixed, the cake was far from perfect. Alex smiled around the bite regardless, and moved back to the witch, offering her a bite by his own hand. "I think you've improved vastly since the last time, this one is so much better." He praised, because the boy could not tell her that she hadn't done an amazing job, it just wasn't in him to do so.

The flurry of questions that came had Alex looking back to the witch with some mild apprehension. Again, where did he draw the line for the truth? He couldn't tell her he'd been avoiding her and Simon because... seeing them together hurt. Being this close to her, and having to mind every action he took wasn't nice for him...

"I've been at college. George's house is closer to the college, so I've been staying there." Alex told her, ignoring the slight on the course being easy. It wasn't, but she didn't need to know that. "ACCA, its a course in accounting. Lots of numbers, and paperwork, and legal stuff. You wouldn't enjoy it at all, it's all very black and white, no colour." He told her, because that was probably the best way to explain it to Anna as a whole.

"But no, no new friends yet." Alex told her, though that was a given. Alex had always been rubbish with people, his friend circle entirely too small, but he liked it that way.

"What have you been up to? Your wedding plans must be in full swing by now?"

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~ American (turned French) ~ Profile ~ 38 ~

"No, Anna, you're Simon's fiance now, not mine, so you can't... you can't say that any more."

His words confused her momentarily. Why would being engaged to Simon mean she wasn't his? It was like saying that if you mixed red and white, the snows in Alaska would melt. The two things were unrelated. Everyone knew the snows would only melt if the color green was involved.

And not saying something didn't make it any less true. They both knew that.

Once again, something felt slightly off when Alex moved her fingers away from the buttons, instead turning his shoulder to her. "Don't be silly," the blonde insisted, turning him back around easily. "It will be much easier to get the stain off if the shirt isn't on you." Sadly, Alex never did see common sense, and so Annagramma had to try and remove the purple mark with a damp towel. It didn't work very well, but her companion didn't seem to mind.

She glowed with pride though, when Alex tested her cake and pronounced it good. Yes, no washing powder was definitely a good direction to go into. As he brought the piece he'd eaten from to her lips, Anna leaned forwards, taking a bite, her lips wrapping for a few seconds around his finger, licking the icing from it.

"Not sweet enough," she pronounced, making a mental note to add more sugar next time. "But definitely no bubbles. Oh Alex, I'm so happy you're here."

For the next few minutes, the girl was simply content to listen to his stories. His course sounded like a school, which Anna would have been great at. But he was right, no color meant it was really boring. Though she would be happy to do boring things if it meant she could be with him all the time.

The witch opened her mouth to say as much when Alex asked about wedding planning.

"Oh I don't know," she answered honestly. "I think the date is in August, mother said. And Jenny is getting her designer friend flown in from somewhere to do the dress but I don't really get involved in all that." wedding planning was for the family, and Anna wasn't a part of that. The things she could contribute, which included giving her measurements, was done and dusted. No other preferences had been asked of the young witch.

"You'll be at the wedding though, won't you?" she asked, worry crinkling her bright green gaze. "Do you think it will be okay if you stand with me the whole time? I'm sure it won't matter if you did."

The mark was dealt with -- even though it would probably stay until the cleaners did their thing with his clothes. Alex didn't pay it much mind, though, waiting only long enough for Annagramma to wipe it away before he turned his full attention back towards the witch.

The cake was pronounced not sweet enough by Anna, and Alex had to laugh at that. "Any more sugar and your teeth will rot!" He joked with her, shaking his head as he licked his other fingers clean -- doing his best to ignore the small taste of Anna's lips on his flesh as he did so... He pulled his head away from those thoughts, knowing they were unsavoury, unsafe, and definitely shouldn't have been lingered upon.

"I'm happy to be here, too." Alex replied, the danger of the statement lingering in his own chest for much longer than it should have.

Anna didn't pay much attention to his course, and honestly Alex hadn't expected anything more. Things that lacked in colour had never been of any interest to her, and there was no doubt in the world that the ACCA course he was embarking upon would be of any interest to her.

The information that Annagramma was not having much -- or really, any -- input in her wedding made the boy frown, though. "Anna, it's your wedding..." He told her gently, taking her hand. "You only get to plan one wedding in your whole life... are you sure that you don't want to have a say in what you're going to wear, or what... I don't know, what colour the bridesmaids will wear, or the table settings..?" It would be clear Alex didn't really know what you were supposed to pick, but those things sounded right. "If you do want to do those things, then you have to tell my mother, or Jenny, otherwise they will just do it all for you. You'll only do this once, Anna."

The question of him being there made Alex let out a small laugh. "Of course I'll be there, Anna. My best friend is getting married." He told her gently. It would hurt, oh it would hurt so very much to watch the wedding, but it would be something he would do for her, because as she'd told him at Christmas, this was what she wanted, and he simply could not get in the way of her happiness. "But, I won't be able to stand with you. That's Simon's role, as your groom. But, I'll be in the front row, with my mother and father, watching you, and encouraging you throughout the whole ceremony."

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~ American (turned French) ~ Profile ~ 38 ~

For a moment, the world was perfect. Alex was with her, he was happy, they were eating cake and he was with her. Annagramma didn't want anything else from her life, this was enough.

But then Alex was contradicting her again, explaining how he couldn't stand by her side at the wedding. Anna shook her head, her blonde hair flying from side to side as he tried to tell her how he would be encouraging her from afar. She didn't want him to be in the front row, she wanted him to be with her.

"What if you were my groom then? Would that mean you get to stand by my side? I'm sure Simon won't mind," she tried to logic the problem out, as always failing in her pursuit of rationality. The girl leaned forward on the counter, wrapping her arms around Alex.

"If you don't say yes... the cake goes on your face," she threatened with a giggle, moving sightly to reach for a handful of the dessert. Alex playfully caught her arm, pinning it down beside the girl and leaning forwards, trying to block her other arm from achieving the same result. Both of them laughed, their playfulness so familiar, it made Anna want to stay in this moment forever.

Until that moment was shattered by a cold voice from the kitchen door.

"Happy Valentine's day, Annie. Little brother."

Alex could only gently laugh off Annagramma's idea of swapping places with Simon on their wedding day. Of course, she simply didn't understand the magnitude of what she was saying, but Alex didn't have the heart to explain to Annagramma why that wouldn't be the case. They were happy in that moment, too, so why would he ruin it by bringing her away from the notion.

The threat of cake on his face, though, was one that Alex was laughing along with. Still not able to tell her no, or why it wasn't okay.

Instead, he held the witch back from being able to get cake on his face. Laughing far too much, and finding himself almost entirely too close to the witch that he'd wanted to be his for the longest time ever. It would have been much too easy to lean in to it. To play the fool with the witch, and then pretend like this stolen moment hadn't happened.

Much, much too easy...

"Happy Valentine's day, Annie. Little brother."

Cold seeped through him in that moment. The youngest Quinn all but jumped back from Annagramma as he turned to find the source of those words. He hadn't needed to, of course, his brother's words were all too familiar, and he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Simon!" Alex greeted with a warm smile. "We were just messing around. Anna's made cake." He explained, feeling like he'd been caught red handed with the way Simon had spoken, despite the fact he'd done nothing in that moment. "Though, I'd go careful, it's a little bit too far in the sweet side, but good nonetheless!"

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~ American (turned French) ~ Profile ~ 38 ~

» The Awakening - Green - July, 2010 (Alexagramma)
» The Wonder Years - Yellow - December, 2009 (Alexagramma)
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» The Wonder Years - Red - May, 2008 (Alexagramma)