It's too late to apologize (Nerisei)

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Dimitri had not left the classroom long after Nerisei had, but the witch had been on a mission to put as much distance between them as she possibly could. The minor head start that she'd earned for herself had meant Dimitri had not managed to catch up with her in the dungeons, instead just about catching a glance of the witch up disappearing from view at the top of the staircase.

Dimitri had hurried on up the stairs, grasping his bag to his side to stop it from constantly hitting his side as he went. The location in which Nerisei was heading was one he didn't know, but he could guess. The first option would be the Ravenclaw Tower, but knowing a riddle would lie in wait, waylaying her progress, the next option was the Head Dorms.

All Dimitri knew of the dorms was that they were on the second floor.

The second floor had come in to view, and the corridors were deserted. With everyone else still confined in their lessons, it would have been easy to spot others in the hall, but Nerisei had disappeared once more as Dimitri paused, looking around as he sucked in air for a sign of the witch. Moving along the corridors, Dimitri scoured the walls for something that would look out of place...

Anything...

A portrait swung open just ahead of him. The Head Boy, Karan, stepped out.

"Hold the painting!" Dimitri called, hurrying over.

"That's the Head's dorm-"

"Need to speak to Nerisei." Dimitri replied before he could be dismissed. The younger Slytherin looked back at the portrait, then back to Dimitri, before conceeding.

"She's not in a good mood, so good luck."

With that, the Slytherin went on with whatever it was he was supposed to be doing, and Dimitri nipped in through the portrait before he could be tempted to change his mind. Taking his bag off from his person, he put it down carefully beside the entrance before moving in to the dormitory more.

"Nerisei?" Dimitri called out, trying to calculate where she might be. He'd done enough today, without scaring her with his unannounced appearance.

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The moment Nerisei exited the classroom, she hadn't expected Dimitri to come after her. They hadn't made their attempts to reconcile very... obvious, therefore she didn't expect the young man to ask for permission to follow her, especially in the middle of a class. In front of that many people. So Nerisei held her bag close and strode up the stairs as fast as she could, anger prominent on her features. She hadn't managed to mess up in Potions in years, yet Dimitri had managed to cause just that in a matter of hours, and it hurt her. It frustrated her beyond explanation.

The Ravenclaw Tower would potentially be full at the time, therefore her first instinct to head there was soon crushed. The Library would also be busy, meaning that the moments of peace that she needed wouldn't be available, so her last resort were the Head Dorms, and it was about time she put them into good use. Making her way past students, Nerisei climbed the stairs from the Dungeons to the Second Floor, unbeknownst to her that Dimitri Moreau was right behind her.

Walking down the hall, the Head Girl reached the portrait, quickly muttering the password and entering swiftly. The Head Boy, Karan, was sitting at the Common Room, when she entered, and Nerisei gave him a swift nod before heading for her room. "Tough day?" He asked. "Don't get me started!" Nerisei yelled back, climbing up the stairs and locking herself in her room. Her moments of peace were almost there.

Throwing her books on her bed, Nerisei quickly removed her jumped and loosened her tie, kicking her shoes in the process as well. Moving towards her bathroom, Nerisei turned the knobs, watching the hot water as it started filling the tub. Yes, a bubble bath would be ideal right now, and no one would be there to interrupt her.

"Nerisei?"

The witch had almost missed her name being called, due to the water running. But this was not the Ravenclaw Tower, and only one other person could enter the Dorms. Karan. But he usually called her by her last name, so who was in their Dorms? Exiting her bathroom and then her bedroom, Nerisei ran down the stairs quickly, wand in hand, ready to attack any intruder, if needed. But the moment she reached the bottom of the stairs, all she could see was Dimitri. Dimitri Moreau standing right in the middle of the Common Room.

"What are you doing here? How the hell did you get it? Where's Singh?" Nerisei asked, her wand still pointed at Dimitri. So much for a moment of peace...

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The plan that had formulated had been to follow Nerisei. To catch up with her, and to apologise. It might have taken a while to bring her around, Dimitri knew that much, but he would at least apologise so that the small amount of progress they'd made so far this term did not go waste.

Plans, though, did not always go as expected.

Which was exactly what had happened to Dimitri as he stepped in to the Head's common room. The new room had been interesting for the split second between entering and Nerisei appearing before him. But the interest in the room had soon been forgotten with the sight of the witch standing before him. Wand in hand. Pointed very clearly in the middle of his chest.

Anyone would have been left dumbfounded as they took it in, and Dimitri was very much the same.

"What are you doing here? How the hell did you get it? Where's Singh?"

For a moment, Dimitri simply stood still, waiting for the wand in the witch's hand to lower from him. But it did not, and so the boy knew it was time he started to speak, lest he be hexed in to next week.

"I came to apologise," Dimitri explained, answering the first of the witch's questions. "For what happened in Potions."

That much was a given, though, he hadn't done anything else wrong.

"Karan let me in, I caught him as he was leaving." Dimitri continued with the second half of the questions, waiting to see if Nerisei would lower her wand now he'd made to answer the questions.

"I know, you're probably really mad with me about what just happened in Potions. It's completely understandable, it's your best subject, and I completely failed. I didn't do it on purpose, though, Nerisei... I promise... I was trying to get it right, but..." Dimitri trailed off with the unspoken words, the words that would summarise just how terrible he was at Potions. Nerisei knew, more than anyone, that he was not good at the subject, no matter how hard he might try.

But until the wand in Nerisei's hand lowered, there wasn't much more he could say.

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Dimitri was frozen for only a moment, but Nerisei's angry features did not soften, therefore he started talking faster than what the witch expected. Of course, it had not been a surprise that the reason he was here was to apologise, but Nerisei was still way too furious with him to just accept his words. Her fingers tightened their hold around her wand, still aiming at him, unwilling to let him go off that easily.

"Karan let me in, I caught him as he was leaving."

An eye roll was all Dimitri received at that. Of course it had been Singh who had allowed him to enter, and Neri made a mental note to talk to the Head Boy about who they would allow to enter the Head Dorms. If both of them spent more time here, instead of their respective Common Rooms, rules would have to be set. And the first would definitely be not allowing people to just run into the Head Dorms after they had severely messed up!

But Dimitri simply didn't stop. Instead, he kept apologising, explaining that he had not intended to mess up, and that he had tried his best, something that Nerisei knew very well, even though she did not want to admit it. But he did. He did admit, in his own way, that he was not as capable in Potions, even if the words failed him. It was common knowledge, really, but no other Pureblood had been so open with admitting his mistake, especially in front of someone like her. A Muggleborn.

"I didn't do it on purpose, though, Nerisei... I promise... I was trying to get it right, but..."

The Head Girl took a deep breath. A moment of silence. Blinking slightly, Nerisei finally lowered her wand, placing it on the counter and softly moving away from Dimitri and towards the small Kitchen that the Head Dormitories had to offer. "I'll make us some tea." Nerisei voiced, in an attempt to make sure she had not lost her voice. She was not going to tell Dimitri that she appreciated his attempt for reconciliation. Nerisei just planned on busying herself enough to calm down, before she made any other approach of communication. And right now, tea was going to do the work.

Grabbing her wand, Nerisei warmed up some water, and started preparing to cups. Once ready, the young witch handed one to Dimitri and went to grab her own, when she remembered that she had left the water running upstairs. "Oh, no! Grab my cup and come upstairs!" Nerisei yelled, already running up the stairs to her room and into her bathroom, turning the valves just in time, as the water was almost ready to start spilling. With a sigh off relief, Nerisei exited her bathroom and closed the door behind her. Moving over to Dimitri, she took the cup from his hands and sipped some, humming her approval. "It's Valerian Root." The witch explained, her eyes finding Dimitri's for a moment, and giving him a small smile.

"I'm sorry. But as the words left her lips, Nerisei knew that it sounded incomplete. "I'm sorry I reacted this way. Truth is, I've been stressed. A lot. And I know you tried your best, Mitri." His nickname slipped off her lips a little too fast, causing Nerisei to take a moment to reel in her thoughts once again. "I appreciate your apology. But I did owe you one of my own." The Head Girl concluded, getting another sip from her tea, as she plopped down on her bed.

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It took what felt like forever, but could only have been a minute, no more, for Nerisei to lower her wand from his person. Dimitri had been trying not to panic at the prospect of the witch's wrath getting the better of her in that moment, but it had been almost futile as he stared back at the wand, knowing he would not be able to defend himself if Nerisei chose the path he'd hoped she wouldn't.

But it had lowered.

And Dimitri had breathed a soft sigh of relief.

"I'll make us some tea."

Dimitri couldn't help but feel slightly perplexed with the change of pace. From staring down the end of a wand to being offered tea in nought point one seconds, it was hard to keep up. Instead, the boy remained where he was for a moment, watching Nerisei move to the small kitchen that the dorm boasted. Busying herself with the process, Dimitri moved halfway across the room, shortening the distance between them in an effort to seem comfortable, but with only the mention of making tea being offered, and nothing being said about their Potions class, he opted to stay quiet, lest he made the situation worse once more.

The process was a quiet one, and Dimitri was almost at the point of relaxing.

Almost.

"Oh, no! Grab my cup and come upstairs!"

The yelling, and the sharp exit from the room left Dimitri far from relaxed. Watching Nerisei leave, and then catching up with what he'd been told, the boy turned back to the cups, collecting them, and following the route of the witch who'd just left in a rush. Dimitri felt a little unsure, though, unfamiliar with his surroundings, and not sure what Nerisei was doing, he moved up the stairs slowly, listening for a reason for the departure. At the top, Dimitri paused, reading the sign on the left hand door as the Head Boy's room, and turning to the other, opened door.

Dimitri had barely made it over the threshold of Nerisei's room before she emerged once more, taking her cup from his hand and then continuing on as if nothing had happened. The news that the tea was Valerian Root made no difference to the boy as he stayed where he was, taking in the room they were standing in, together, and doing his best to not linger on anything. He'd always been taught that you weren't to enter a girl's bedroom, that was their personal space, and you just...

"I'm sorry."

Nerisei's apology brought him back to the moment, his eyes moving back to the witch. The apology was genuine, but not finished. Nerisei continued on about how she'd been stressed, and that she was sorry, that she knew he'd tried his best. And there, at the end, the nickname she'd offered him before, that he'd not heard from her lips in a very long time. "It's okay," Dimitri offered in return, still standing by the door because he was not sure how to deal with this new dynamic of theirs.

Nerisei was quite the opposite, though, as she sat down on the bed, comfortable with everything.

Dimitri waited for a moment, biding his time with a sip of the warm liquid he'd been provided. The Valerian Root gave off a woody taste in the tea, but it wasn't unpleasant. "What is stressing you out?" Dimitri asked carefully, he didn't want to provoke the witch by any means, but he wanted to show he did care, and that they could share, if Nerisei wished to do so. "Maybe I can help?" The addition was given without another thought. If he could help... Dimitri would, but he knew Nerisei's independent nature would likely not wish for him to help her.

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"It's okay,"

A soft sigh escaped Nerisei's lips at the sound of Dimitri's voice. Even she hadn't realised how much she had missed sitting down with him, talking, studying... kissing... Though it had certainly been a while since the last time they touched one another in a romantic way. And Nerisei wasn't sure she was ready to do that again anyway. Part of her did. She was a young woman, and he was till the man she was attracted to, even though her feelings were hurt. Dimitri Moreau was a very handsome man, and only a blind woman would say this was not the case. But how could she engage into acts that caused them to split apart in the first place?

Though, thankfully, Dimitri decided to speak up again, dragging her away from her thoughts that seemed to add more to her stressful situation, and back to the present. Asking about what it was that was stressing her out so much, had the young witch thinking whether she should be this stressed in the first place. James Balan was truly a very talented Potion Master, but was he the only one? No. And this meant that if, in the end, she did not manage to change the wizard's mind, the world did not have to come to an end. There had to be other choices.

"Maybe I can help?"

Nerisei gave him a small smile, then took a sip of her warm tea, calming her nerves for the time being. It had been a very long and eventful day, that was a fact, but Dimitri was not --contrary to popular belief-- the root of her every problem. "I am worried. About studying after Hogwarts. I am trying to persuade our former Professor, James Balan, to take me up as an apprentice, but he just refuses to even give a thought to it. He just... dismisses every single later I send, every attempt I make. And it's frustrating! It's... it's... unfair!" Nerisei emphasised, her voice breaking a bit towards the end.

With her hormones all over the place, Nerisei seemed to find staying calm a very hard thing to achieve. Anne had, of course, suggested various methods that would help her down, including specific toys of various shapes and sizes that caused Nerisei's eyes to grow so big, she had to excuse herself immediately. The truth was, she had been thinking about it. Kissing. Touching. Pleasure. But the problem was that whenever those words came up, Dimitri's face always appeared too. It was never Jacques -even though he was the best kisser-, not some other boy. It was always... Dimitri. Everywhere she went. And that made her... frustrated. Sexually frustrated.

"Mitri... Um.. What are you hoping for? With us? What... what do you want? I-I know it's a hard question, but I don't know if I understand. Why are you still here, talking to me? Is this a way of goodbye? Spending some months with me before you disappear from my life? Because, if that's the case, I don't want it. I..." But Nerisei trailed off, avoiding the male's eyes as she looked out the window. Avoiding the truth.

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The conundrum that Nerisei set out was one that Dimitri didn't have an answer for. Sipping on the cup of tea he'd been given, the Moreau heir leaned lightly against the door frame as he listened to Nerisei speak of their old Potions Master. The man was not responding to Nerisei's letters. The likelihood the letters had gone missing -- if sent via owl -- was unlikely, the animals knew more than well enough how to find their intended target.

"Perhaps, if you don't hear back from your next letter, you could ask Professor Harrington?" Dimitri offered. He didn't know much of their new professor, but she must know enough to have gained her job, and even if she couldn't help Nerisei, she might, perhaps, have a contact that Nerisei could use to push her plans forward. Though, Dimitri knew why Nerisei had picked their ex-professor, the man had developed new potions in recent years, and was something of a prodigy in the field. His own father had commented on the waste of potential a few years back upon finding James Balan teaching, but Dimitri had really paid it much thought at the time.

Apart from that, though, Dimitri couldn't offer much more to the witch.

The next topic of conversation, though, had not been one that Dimitri had been expecting. They'd only just got back in the swing of talking, and now... the question was one he couldn't answer, no matter how much the witch wanted him to. As he'd told her as they left from the station at the end of last year, what he could offer Nerisei had not changed, would never change. But... he had feelings for the witch that kept drawing him back to her.

It would be clear from the boy's features that he was not comfortable with the question, but it would also be clear to see that he was trying to find something in the way of an answer for her, too.

"I don't know, Nerisei," Dimitri's reply came in that moment, opting to reply with the honest answer to the question she'd posed for him. She deserved that much. "I wish I could clearly identify where this is going, but I can't. I didn't lie before the summer when I said that I couldn't offer you anything of a future, that hasn't changed, either." The truth might sting, but it was the truth, it would always be the truth.

"It doesn't mean I want to give up on... us, though I know that isn't exactly a clear message either... I don't know, I really don't know." The confusion would be clear on the man's features even as he tried to explain, but the answer was simply as Dimitri had said, he didn't know.

He just knew he kept coming back to her each time.

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The idea of talking to Professor Harrington, if James Balan decided to turn her down again was actually solid. And Nerisei would have actually made that decision, but her pride wouldn't allow her to give up. James Balan had been her Potions Professor for the most years she had spent in Hogwarts, and also, he was one of the best Potions Masters in the whole world. He had been brewing his own potions, even, and he was simply an enormous inspiration to the young witch. Plus, he was a Muggleborn, meaning he knew very well how it felt to be a minority. To be judged based on your blood and not your skills. Yet, he managed to surpass them all. And that was exactly what Nerisei was aiming for. Azalea Harrington could be extremely talented and a lovely, kind person, but she wasn't what Nerisei wanted. She wanted a challenge. So she kept trying.

Again. And again. And again.

But the Head Girl was not going to tell Dimitri that his idea was not what she wanted. Instead, she flashed him a small smile and a nod. "I will actually think about it. This sounds like the reasonable thing to do, after all." But Dimitri Moreau should have known that reason wasn't really Nerisei Volkova's strong point. Though, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing either.

But as Dimitri registered her next question, the Ravenclaw witch watched him go from sort of relaxed to uncomfortable in seconds. Nerisei knew that Dimitri didn't have an answer to her questions, but she kept asking. Pushing him, again and again. Hoping that at some point, the male standing opposite of her would change his mind. That he would finally give her the answer she had been craving for so long. 'Yes, Nerisei. I want you. I love you. I need you to be mine. Only mine.' But Dimitri would never voice those words. What Neri had managed to finally realise though was that it didn't necessarily mean that he did not want those things. That this wasn't what was running through his mind. And perhaps, Nerisei was overthinking things. Why worry about an unsure future, instead of enjoying the present? How many moments was she going to waste to pain and sadness?

"It's okay, Dimitri. I understand. I am not asking for a future. All I am asking is... I... I want to live the present. With you. For as long as it lasts. Because I know that I will regret every day of my life, if I just allow you to slip away like that. Forget the future, Dimitri. But be my present... Choose me." If that was still too much for him, perhaps Nerisei should start considering that Dimitri was not the man for her. Perhaps... she should start looking elsewhere, just like Anne had said.

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Dimitri knew that his answer was far from what the witch would want to hear. But he couldn't promise her things he couldn't offer. He didn't want to promise her something he knew would never be... It wasn't as if he was being purposefully awkward about everything, and though he wanted to express everything in his head, the Ravenclaw would never do that. Not aloud.

Perhaps he'd gained some luck somewhere in the universe. Perhaps he'd managed to find the right way to say what they both knew. Whatever the case might have been, Nerisei didn't seem to be so... annoyed with him when he answered in the same way he always had. In the same way that had usually rattled her being.

No, Nerisei accepted what he'd said, and instead of making him feel bad for the decisions that were out of his control... she accepted them. Offered a new point of view for them both. Forgetting the future, and living in the moment sounded good, and yet...

Dimitri's eyes moved from Nerisei for a moment, unsure on what to say. Wasn't her suggestion just building them both up for hurt further along the road? And yet, wasn't the offer what they'd both wanted for a number of years now? What they'd been trying to find the compromise of? Even if it was only a temporary arrangement? Dimitri looked back to the witch in that moment, trying to tell if she realised just what the offer she'd put up between them truly meant.

If they both...

Putting his cup down on the desk just inside the door, Dimitri moved slowly across the room towards Nerisei, almost scared she would take the words she'd just spoken back. Demand he choose her forever, not just in this moment. But no change in stance came as he moved closer, only the sound of his footsteps against the floor breaking the heavily weighted silence between them.

They had waited too long.

He'd waited too long.

Lowering himself to the witch's height, half stooped at the edge of the bed, Dimitri didn't think twice about his reply to the witch in that moment. He couldn't keep thinking, because thinking had kept them apart for far too long. Thinking would destroy them.

"I choose you." He told her softly, forgoing all common sense and logical reasoning in that moment in favour of pressing his lips firmly to hers. If she needed him to prove anything in that moment, his words would never be adequate. They had never been adequate, but hopefully, the witch would understand what he wanted to say through his actions as he pressed another kiss to her lips if she complied, didn't push him back.

It had been much too long since he'd been able to kiss Nerisei Volkova, and if she allowed him, he would not stop kissing her until he could breath no more.

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Nerisei had remained frozen in her spot once she had spoken her words. She was not sure that Dimitri would actually believe her, or react in a positive way. Each time she had attempted to ask him about their future, about what he wanted from her, he had always ended up whining and refusing to actually admit to his feelings, or give a straightforward answer. Which was exactly why the young witch could not be sure this time would be any different. But it was, wasn't it?

This time, Nerisei wasn't talking about a future. She was talking about a present. A present they had both been denying themselves for the past couple of years. Lies, fights and denial. They had lost so much time of live and pleasure and... A future. All they had to do was live. And the future would follow. Somehow.

But Dimitri avoided her eyes. And the Head Girl felt her heart break once more. It had not been enough. Her words were seemingly not what Dimitri needed to hear to finally realise what he truly wanted. Or they were enough to make him realise that she was not what he wanted. She was perhaps too much for him. Or maybe not enough. Nerisei couldn't know unless Dimitri spoke up. But did he need to speak? The avoidance of her gaze wasn't enough of a sign?

The witch was about to cry, her breaths coming out heavy once more. She was ready to stand up, tell him that she understood but that was not something she could handle. And that he needed to go. Forever. But his eyes found hers once more and only then did Nerisei realise the need that was reflected in his gaze. A need that was mirrored in hers.

Her eyes followed him as he slowly placed his cup down in the desk nearby, before striding up to her. His lean form reached her not fast enough, but the anticipation was growing more and more. It had been too long. Way too long. His body towered over her, his face inches from hers. Nerisei's breath caught in her throat, awaiting his next words.

"I choose you."

His lips found hers in a soft kiss, as if testing the waters. Nerisei felt her heart accelerating in seconds, her fingers reaching up to him, cupping his cheeks as she kissed him back just as softly. It had been too long since she had tasted him. Too long since she had felt her body against his. And she missed it terribly. Breaking their kiss for a mere second, Neri murmured, "Don't stop." Then her lips found his once more in a fierce kiss. Tentatively, her fingers slid down to grasp his shirt, softly pulling him down with her. He would have time to stop her, if he wanted, but all she wanted was to feel him close. She was not going to push too fast too soon. But she wanted him as close as possible in that moment.

» Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry (Nerisei)
» Happy Birthday, Nerisei (Dimitri & Nerisei)
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