A Promise is a Promise (Amethyst & TJ)

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As Amethyst leant forward on the broom, TJ jogged alongside her, keeping his eyes on her movements. Hopefully he'd be able to grab hold of the broom if she pushed it too much, but it seemed his instructions had been clear enough as she accelerated perfectly in that moment. Amethyst was, quite clearly, a model student and really she didn't need him.

But he didn't say that, because even if she didn't need him, he wanted an excuse to be able to spend time with her. Deep down he knew that, but he would deny it until he was blue in the face if someone asked him about it.

"And who told you, little man, that I'm staring at you? I truly believe you are terribly mistaken if you think so."

The retort was... well, TJ knew his place after that comment, and his smile slowly faded away, putting himself back on track in that moment because he didn't wish to over step the mark at all. "Sorry." TJ replied to the witch, letting the joke go.

"Did you want to try going a little faster? Or shall we try turns now?" TJ asked, getting on with the lesson that he'd promised her.

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Since TJ didn't correct her movements, Amethyst believed that she was doing great. And well, since she was still mounting this broom and wasn't unconscious in the Hospital Wing, it meant she was learning. Slowly, but nevertheless learning.

When she had told him she wasn't looking at him, Amethyst observed as the small smile on his lips disappeared, and he was back to the totally professional TJ. Why? What had she done wrong? Why was he so cold and sad all of a sudden?

"Sorry."

"No," she said as she pulled on the broom a bit, coming to a halt. She was serious now. She had done something wrong and she was going to make things right. She had to see that smile touch his features once more. It was the most beautiful smile she had laid eyes on. It was genuine. And TJ never smiled before, so this was something she couldn't just throw away.

"I didn't mean it. I just didn't want you to know I was staring."
It took her a couple of seconds before she understood what she had just blurted out, and the red color on her cheeks darkened a few shades. "I-I mean I... I wasn't really... umm... You're just ah.. handsome? I'm sorry I can't help it! Especially when you smile.."

Amethyst wanted to disappear from the world at that moment. Had she just complimented him, just so she could see that smile of his once again? Well, wasn't that interesting.

His next question went unnoticed and therefore unanswered since Amethyst was too busy sorting her messed up, at the moment, thoughts and trying to work out what to say next. She didn't know what reaction to expect from him, but she was ready for the worst.

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As the broom came to a halt, TJ stopped beside the witch, checking she was okay with the quite quick stop that had come. But, everything seemed to be in order. In the middle of deciding whether to congratulate her on a successful stop, or ask her why she'd stopped, came the babbling from Amethyst that made him frown a little as he processed what she was saying.

"I was just teasing about staring." TJ insisted as she explained. If she had been staring, then that was her choice. "I just don't want you to fall off your broom for a silly reason like looking at my ugly face." TJ explained, half joking at least in that moment, though it would come off as a complete joke to those who heard it.

"I-I mean I... I wasn't really... umm... You're just ah.. handsome? I'm sorry I can't help it! Especially when you smile.."

Those words, spoken from the witch before him, were enough to set warning bells blaring in TJ's head. Too close, too much attachment, too personal. The walls went up quicker than any security system you could think of, and TJ simply gave a small shrug to the witch. "I won't smile then." He replied seriously, turning his attention back to the lesson.

He was trying to keep professional. He was scared of being unprofessional. Professionalism meant he could keep a distance, he had to keep a distance. "Umm... Where were..." He paused, thinking. "Ah, yes, how about you try some height now? You just need to pull up a bit as you move forward, and then you'll be able to climb, and then just flatted the broom when you've finished climbing." The Ravenclaw explained, his eyes avoiding Amethyst's because he didn't want to see the sincerity in her eyes at the words she'd spoken.

Or worse yet, he didn't wish to see the amusement in her eyes at the thought she could possibly like him.

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A part of Amethyst truly believed that if she was being honest with him, she would earn and genuine reaction from him. A part of her truly believed that when she spoke those words, TJ would smile again. That she would make him happy.

But she realised she had made things worse when a frown touched his lips. Though she could not understand why. Why had she made things worse? She had said nothing bad. The words she had spoken were true, and honest, and full of love. But his reaction was the complete opposite.

"I just don't want you to fall off your broom for a silly reason like looking at my ugly face."

A sigh escaped the witch's lips as she looked him in the eyes with a sad face. He wasn't ugly. He wasn't mean. Why was he doing this to himself?
"TJ, you are not ugly. Quite the opposite actually.."

But that is when everything backfired.

"I won't smile then."

What? She couldn't believe what she was listening. Why wouldn't he smile? Because she liked it when he smiled? And he didn't want her to like anything involving him? What was wrong with him? Amy watched him as he became serious once again, going on speaking about what she should do next as if nothing had happened. She couldn't stay there any longer.

A sob threatened to escape her throat as the tears were blurring her vision. Amethyst, for once in her life, wanted to fly. Fast. Away from him. From the person she wanted the most.
Completely ignoring his words, and whether he was going to follow her or not, she leaned forward, feeling the broom speed up quite fast, and almost knocking her off of the broom.

She felt the tension is her chest become heavier as she flew higher, far away from him. Far away from everything.
All she could feel was the air against her skin, drying the tears that were now falling down her cheeks. She was hurt. He had hurt her. And truly, she was more scared of him than the wolf he was hiding inside.

But she forgot she was in mid air, and she let her grip go in order to brush the tears away. And that was when she lost balance, and fell off the broom. A scream escaped her throat full of the pain she was feeling. Closing her eyes, she awaited the pain that was to follow. She didn't wanna feel more.

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TJ wasn't listening when Amethyst insisted that he was not ugly. He didn't think he was attractive, so why would she? No, he simply would not believe her when she said those words, simply because it was easier not to believe her than to accept what she was telling him.

But, what TJ was not expecting was for the Hufflepuff to shoot off, fast and high after what sounded like...

Had it been...

TJ was instantly angry at himself for the thought of making her cry. You couldn't even last an hour before you upset her, could you? And to think, you could even promise that you wouldn't hurt her! You are not perfect, you're not anything, Tobias, and you never will be, his mind screamed at him in that moment, his legs on autopilot as he ran after the witch.

If she flew out of the stadium...

The dread of the thought felt like it was crushing TJ's heart in that moment, as it beat louder with every step he took. "AMETHYST, YOU HAVE TO COME DOWN!" TJ shouted after the witch, trying to keep himself under her route in that moment, despite her being able to move faster than him.

"PLEASE, COME BACK DOWN!"

And she did.

But not in the manner that TJ had meant. As she let go of the broom - for some stupid reason she'd let go - TJ's heart felt like it'd stopped beating, all he could do was move on auto-pilot as she fell from his broom. From what height, he couldn't say, but he didn't have time for that.

Catching up with the fall only seconds before, TJ held out his arms, catching the witch (but only just) in his arms, and taking a few steps to counter the movement of her fall. "What were you thinking?" TJ asked a moment later - his voice soft as a whisper as their faces were so close. "You could have killed yourself! Did you even..." But his anger at her for being so stupid dissipated as he realised she was okay.

His anger dissipated even as the sound of wood snapping met his ears, because she was safe, unharmed and going to be okay. "Please don't do that again." TJ insisted, holding Amethyst closer to him in that moment as he put her down on the floor, supporting her weight until the tension would dissipate in his body.

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Amethyst was high. High enough for the fall to break more than a few bones. It would certainly leave her in bed for quite a while, and she would probably have to drink those terrible potions as not to feel the pain, until her bones were back together.

But that was not what she was thinking when she started flying. She was crying. She was hurt. And it wasn't even her fault. But she couldn't bring herself to believe that. She just blamed herself. That was all she had learned to do.

She hadn't heard what TJ had been yelling. How worried he sounded, how worried he was. She was blind and deaf. She didn't wanna know, she didn't wanna hear she didn't wanna feel. She just fell. And it was the best feeling she had in quite a while. Falling.

It just allowed her to feel free. Not restricted. She didn't have to worry about anything at that moment. What would happen once she hit the ground, if she would die, what would TJ say, or who would cry for her. Nothing. At all.

Though she never hit the ground.

What?

Her eyes opened in shock as she felt two arms holding her tightly, not letting go. She wasn't dead? What had happened? As if reading her thoughts TJ spoke up, breaking the silence as he held her there, and she allowed herself to close her eyes once more and rub her face in his chest.

"What were you thinking?"

She didn't wanna answer. In all truth, what was she actually thinking? She certainly wasn't thinking straight for once. But what she did would have serious consequences. Now she understood.
Now she knew.

"You could have killed yourself! Did you even..."

Amethyst looked up, her face inched away from his. He was worried. Why? Why did he care? Well, it certainly isn't because he likes you. He probably is worried about the fact he would be a suspect of you death..
And that was what she believed. Though the more she looked into his eyes, the more she couldn't bring herself to accept that.

"Please don't do that again."

Then she was softly placed on the ground still feeling a bit dizzy. Not thinking about it, she reached out and hugged him, hiding her face into his chest once again without another word. She didn't wanna talk. She just wanted him.

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TJ hadn't really expected an answer, even if he wanted one quite desperately. Her act of stupidity could have cost her her life and for what? But she didn't tell him, instead cuddling in to him, TJ's angered faded as he held her, knowing why she had tried something so silly, even if he couldn't believe he had the power to push her so hard.

"It's okay." He whispered, holding her close to him. "You're okay." He soothed, ignoring their closeness in that moment.

That, his feelings, the opportunity, were irrelevant in that moment, all that mattered was the witch in his arms and her well being.

"Lets get you back inside, you've had a long morning." TJ muttered, lifting the Hufflepuff back up again, holding her close to him as he set off towards the castle. It took him a while, with a few stops because he had never been the best athlete, but eventually TJ got Amethyst back inside the castle walls, and down to the Hufflepuff common room. After getting another of her house mates to open the door, TJ had set Amethyst in one of the chairs by the Common Room's fire, and insisted someone was to look after her for the rest of the day.

With that, TJ had knelt down before her, looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry, Amethyst. This wasn't what I meant to happen. I should... I should have done better. You deserve better. But you're safe now." He whispered, his features contorted with the anger he felt at himself, and the shame of breaking his promise. Again.

TJ was almost ready to say goodbye, but the word got stuck, and so he stood up without another word, and left the common room behind, promising her in his head, that she wouldn't have to deal with who he was, ever again.

Because Amethyst deserved better than that.

Better than him.

» You promise me heaven, then put me through hell (Jackson)
» The Aftermath (Amethyst & TJ)
» Our Future (Amethyst & TJ)
» Amethyst Vine
» Recovery Training (Amethyst & TJ)