The Struggles of Being Deaf [Elleon]

Guest

There was no doubt that school was one of the hardest things Amber had ever faced, especially since she couldn't really perform magic. It was one thing to get it right when you could pronounce the spells; it was something else altogether when you couldn't speak because you were completely Deaf. If she so much as got the emphasis wrong, the spell would backfire, and Amber knew she couldn't take that risk. And so with all the inner strength and patience she had, Amber went about teaching herself how to do things non-verbally.

After each class, she would sneak off to an empty classroom to practice whatever spell they had just learnt, trying her best to replicate it without the use of the verbal spell. Elleon had been a great help, both supporting her morally and teaching her the proper way to do things, but today was one such day when the frustration got too much.

She was supposed to be turning a teapot into a tortoise, a transfiguration that everybody else had gotten three classes ago -- but no matter how hard she tried, Amber could not seem to manage the spell without the ... well, the spell. In absolute frustration, she hurled the teacup against the wall, watching with some satisfaction as it splintered into pieces before sinking down into the chair, sighing.

I'm never going to get it, she signed to herself.

Guest

Elleon packed up his things neatly, putting away his brushes and paints before very carefully inserting a piece of paper into his sketchbook to keep it safe. He was excited to show Amber his latest work which was inspired by her. Not that he would tell her that - he was just too shy - unless she asked. Ever since Amber transferred to Hogwarts and they met, she'd been his best friend. It was inevitable, really, with Jelena a year higher than him and him stuck behind a year, and only one other Deafie in the school.

Sure, his sister still made time for him and helped him whenever she could - listening as he pronounced spells over and over until he got it right - but she had her own group of friends now. Elleon was starting to feel like the unwanted sixth finger, just getting in the way and holding her back. But now he had Amber.

Putting his sketchbook into his messenger bag and exiting his dorm, he went in search of his best friend. He'd already checked the common rooms and knew she was not there, so he headed to the only other place he could think of - the Duelling classroom. He didn't exactly know why that place came to mind but he followed his instincts. They'd never let him down so far.

He opened the door and peeked in, at first seeing no one and almost leaving. But a movement caught his eyes and he glanced just in time to see something smash against the wall. It would be much more dramatic if he actually could hear it smash. Involuntarily, his mouth made an 'o' shape right before his gaze landed on a female. Was is Amber? It had to be; he'd recognise her anywhere. From his angle, he could see that she was signing but couldn't quite make out the words except for never. His brain automatically filled in the blanks with words that could fit. It wasn't that difficult when he took into consideration the flying teapot.

Pursing his lips, he stepped into the room and walked up to the chair Amber was on, lightly touching her shoulder before moving forward to face her. "That doesn't look good," he commented, using ASL instead of BSL. "You okay?" Even with his sketchbook tucked under one hand, he could sign with the other hand perfectly fine, so used was he to one-handed signing.

Guest

She didn't hear him come in; how could she? But at the hand on her shoulder, she knew immediately who it was, recognising Elleon's touch anywhere. Being Deaf meant she relied on senses other than hearing, and her sight, smell, touch were better than most other people. And so, breathing in the familiar scent of art supplies that seemed to follow Elleon around, she didn't bother to turn. Besides, she wasn't easily startled. How could she be, when the only way she'd know someone was behind her was if they touched her? No, the fear had been taken care of years ago.

It would be too easy to not pay attention to what he was saying, to ignore him; all she needed to do was close her eyes or look away and she would have no idea what he was saying. But Amber knew she could never do that to her best friend, and as he stepped into sight, she lifted her gaze slightly so that she would see his hands.

As soon as he finished, she let out a sigh and let her head drop, forehead soundlessly crashing against the table. Her right hand held up in front of her, she curled her last two fingers inward so they touched her palm and brought her thumb to meet her forefinger and middle finger, hitting them together twice. No.

Then, turning her fingers into a 'v' formation, she hit the back of them against the top of her head. Normally, it would be her forehead, but since that was touching the table, she compromised with the top instead, trusting Elleon would understand. Stupid. With another sigh, she paused for a moment before properly signing out, Can't get the spell right. It's stupid. I give up.

Guest

As Amber dropped her head down on the table, Elleon tried to hold back an amused smile. Sure, he was concerned for her, but he also had never seen Amber like this before, and he thought it was rather comedic. But since him laughing at her probably wouldn't help, he suppressed his smile instead. When her answer to his question came in the negative, he frowned. Waiting until she finished signing, he pulled up a nearby chair and sat opposite her, setting his sketchbook down on the table - or what he could of it since Amber's head was in the way.

He was silent for a while, not quite sure of what he should say. From his observations, he knew that she was working on turning a teapot into a tortoise. Having to repeat the same year, Elleon knew the difficulties she was having. He himself struggled with all his spells - the verbal ones that is - and had to hunt Jelena down to sit with him and go over the pronunciation multiple times before he got it right. It was easier for him though, since he'd gone for intense speech therapy when he was young. Personally, he could see no use in learning this particular spell. As if I would ever need to turn a teapot into a tortoise he scoffed mentally.

Making sure he had her attention by tapping on her shoulder until she looked up at him, he decided it was time for him to say something. "You're right," he said, nodding to show his emphasis. "Giving up is stupid." He paused for a while then grinned to show that he was somewhat joking. "I think the teapot thinks so too. After all, it's just hankering to turn into a tortoise. That's what the spell is for isn't it? To make all teapots' dream come true to be a tortoise."

From his own experience with frustration, he knew that no amount of pity could help. Words like: 'That's too bad' or 'Perhaps if you try harder', and worse of all, 'I'm sorry' never helped him. When he got too frustrated and felt like quitting Hogwarts altogether and returning to his Deaf school, he always just needed some humour and time to cool down before trying again.

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