All alone to my sadness (Apollonia)

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Is there a difference between pain and sadness? One is physical, the other emotional, but don’t they both cause the same effect? Tears. When you stub your toe tears spring to your eyes, and when your feelings get hurt the same thing happens. So it’s really just a difference of what other people can see vs. what only you can.

Today Lyra had both physical and emotional wounds. It was a couple days after she had run into those... those... mother fucking bullies. Even thinking cuss words still felt strange to her, but at the same time it somehow felt good. But, the bruise and large bump on her head from it hitting the ground, the split lip, and the various bruises forming all over her were paled in comparison to the war waging inside the young Hufflepuff.

All she'd wanted to do was check out some books and do some studying, and instead she'd somehow earned an attack. And why? Because she was American. What was wrong with Americans she couldn't begin to guess, but the boys who'd attacked her sure seemed to have some reason.

She hadn't ever done anything to them even! Not that she knew of at least. She couldn't think of a single reason that would have caused them to want to hurt her, and the thoughts couldn't leave her alone. She couldn't stop wondering what she'd done wrong. And she couldn't stop worrying that they would come back.

She'd dealt with bullies before, back in California, but at least then it was over something she could fix. It wasn't because she was born and raised somewhere different from them, it was more like she'd gotten in someone's way. All she could think to do was put her feelings somewhere. Get them, and her thoughts, and everything out of her head and onto paper. Then maybe she could move on?

So, with her diary stuffed safely in her bag as usual, she headed toward the place she knew she would at least usually be alone. The Room of Requirement. She wasn't even sure who else knew of the room, she'd just stumbled on it one day while trying to find someplace she could be alone. But, she remembered it from Hogwarts a History, so maybe everyone knew about it.

Whatever the case, it wasn't long before she found herself curled up in an armchair in the room, diary in her hands but not even open. Instead, she let everything out in a different way, curling in on herself and crying. Without the fear of her housemates seeing her, and without the embarrassment of crying in front of someone else like she had a couple days before. She just let herself be sad, for herself, for her friends back home, for everything that she missed. Because sometimes you just need to let it out.

Guest

Apollonia wasn't the sort who would push her nose into other's business, at most times anyway but there were some days where the half-Greecian witch felt that her butting in was needed even though people just didn't want it. Mostly it was the younger kids that she was friendly with but sometimes she also butted into the older year's problems even though they always made her swear to not tell anyone of what she witnessed or heard. Not that she ever would anyway, it just wasn't in her nature to spread such things around.

She wasn't nosy per se but she was quite curious and whenever she witnessed something that tugged at her heartstrings she always found the chance to figure out what was wrong and what not. As it was when she witnessed the solemn and awfully quite form of their newest transfer, a one Lyra Fletcher, rushing whoever knows where with suspicious looking bruises, the Slytherin frowned and followed her at a safe distance, making sure to keep an eye out.

She had heard rumours, and how she so loathed such things though they did prove to bear fruit at times, that some of the Hogwarts students had not been happy about an American joining their ranks and for the life of her, Apollonia could not figure out why. She was just a girl, a young girl who had moved across the pond to the UK to join Hogwarts, a young girl who had, quite possibly, left all of her childhood friends behind.

There was nothing wrong with Lyra joining Hogwarts and really, some people were just so petty and stupid in their views that Apollonia was disgusted at calling them her fellow students. They were nothing more than bigoted idiots but hey, who was she to judge right? Well, as long as they kept those views to words only.

Pausing just outside of view, Apollonia witnessed Lyra disappearing behind a set of doors that did not close fully so the Slytherin fifth year followed inside and softly closed it behind her, knowing well that the doorway would disappear on the other side.

Her keen eyes quickly found the curled up form of Lyran on the armchair and the quiet sobs that she could hear from the younger witch told the fifth year enough. Swiftly making her way across the room, Apollonia placed a soft hand on the other girl's shoulder and rubbed it soothingly.

"Hey." Her words were soft, quiet as she peered at the girl, brown eyes watching the other girl. "Lyra, right? What upset you so?"

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Lyra was too absorbed in herself to hear the footsteps made by the older girl, so when she was first touched she jumped quite a bit, wide eyes turning up to take in the other witch before her.

"Lyra, right? What upset you so?"

She swiped at her tears quickly with one sleeve, eyes turning away from the other girl as she waited a second to be sure her voice wouldn't crack as she spoke. "Nothing, I'm fine." But the hand on her shoulder and the other girls soothing voice somehow helped put her at ease, and she relaxed slowly.

"I just..." she hesitated. She didn't know this girl, though she looked ever so slightly familiar. She was probably in some of Lyra's classes, but she had always been terrible with names. Still, she seemed trustworthy enough, and she wasn't sure that writing in her diary would really be enough to help her move past anything.

"I don't belong here. I never will. This.. this place and it's butterbeer that apparently isn't supposed to be served ice, and it's brooms that have to be European, and it's lack of surfing and.. and.. and it's stupid Gryffindor, egotistical, bully, good for nothing, jackass, boys."

Her lip wobbled as tears threatened to spill again but she swiped at her cheeks once more, determined not to cry in front of the older girl anymore than she had. She probably already thought of her as a cry baby.

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Apollonia frowned and silently asked the room to provide them a box of tissues which she picked up and handed over to Lyra, not even mentioning a word about her crying. There was no need to be ashamed about it but she doubted that the younger girl would've like having it pointed out.

Smiling softly, she patiently waited beside the Hufflepuff for the girl to try and get her thoughts together and explain to her what was wrong. There was no rush and rushing never led to things anyway, better for Lyra to pull herself together and tell her in her own time than for Apollonia to rush into her own conclusions.

"..." Of course it would be bullies; those just never seemed to leave anyone alone. Was it just her or did those... people just multiply within each year? It seemed like no matter how many times people got detentions or points loss for it they never stopped and just seemed to grow truthfully. Like a mould really.

"Of course you belong here, we all belong here." Apollonia retorted softly as she perched on arm-rest of the armchair and absently brushed her fingers through Lyra's hair. "This is a school for Witchcraft and Wizardry, no? And you are a witch, yes? So you do belong here and whoever says you don't clearly needs to get a smack over the head or something." She grinned lightly.

"...Butterbeer can be served with anything, even ice. The brooms don't have to be European. Well, surfing, unfortunately, I can't do anything about. No beaches anywhere close by to the school... though you can go surfing during the summer, I'm sure that the waves will be big enough for that... though certainly not as big as the ones in California." She huffed a laugh.

"...as for bullies... well, those can be dealt in a number of ways... one, you can inform a Professor about it, Professor Jake, I hear, deals with them quite swiftly but I doubt that you would even want to do that, two you can just ignore them until they go away because trust me, they will when they get bored from you not reacting to their tauntings or three you can deal with them yourself..."

She smirked at the Californian girl. "Personally, I'd rather deal with them myself. They tend to lay off after a few well-played pranks or after a few mortifying and embarrassing hexes."

Guest

The box of tissues offered by the other girl only helped further drive in the idea that she didn't seem to be here to do anything but help. Lyra had no reason to believe the older witch would be there for any other reason after all. She hadn't seemed to want to hurt her, like those boys had, and that meant that she was a good person right? She took the box of tissues after a moment with a weak smile, using one to dry her remaining tears the best she could.

"Thank you," she murmured softly, getting a good look at the girl. She looked to be at least a year older, with brown eyes and freaking amazing hair that drew a little more of a genuine smile to her face. "I love your hair..."

She relaxed a bit more as her fingers ran through Lyra's hair, the touch soothing in a way she'd never quite experiences. The girl responded with a statement that she did belong, but how could she? "I don't mean at Hogwarts. Well, sort of, but more Europe in general. I belong in America. In California. With Sunny and Loony and Cocoa and the beach. This place just... doesn't get me." She shakes her head and looks down again, fiddling with her tissue. "I don't get it either though."

She hesitated, looking back to the girl. "Have you ever had it iced? Most people look at me like I have two heads when I suggest it." At the mention of surfing she perked up quite a bit. "That's true... It would be a bit cold, sure, but there are those.. those thingies? The... wetsuits! That's what they're called! They're supposed to help you keep warm or something? I'm sure there's a charm or two I could learn as well to keep me warm..?" She grinned, excited by the prospect of getting to engage in her favorite activity once more. "Maybe I'll get that new surf board I wanted after all...."

She frowned once more at the mention of the bullies and nodded. "Professor Hughes already dealt with it. I.. would have probably been a lot worse if he hadn't stepped in." She made a mental note to go by and thank the teacher/librarian as soon as she got a chance. "But that had been my plan. Just to wait them out. I just..." She looks down once more. "I keep worrying they'll come back. There won't always be a professor around the corner, they just got stupid that one time."

She looked back up for the last time at the mention of handling things herself. "I've never tried I guess. There were.." she paused, trying to remember just how many of the sixth years there'd been. "Three of them. I don't know any spells or anything that can take more than one person?" She thought for a moment before shrugging and speaking again hesitantly. "I could ask professor Jake to teach me some though?" Her cheeks reddened slightly at even just his name but she pointedly ignored it.

Guest

Oh how she wished that she knew how to help Lyra but there was only so much she could; she wasn't a prefect so she couldn't deduct points for the bullying, she wasn't a Head Girl or a professor so assigning detentions was also out. She could tell someone about it but then that would give Lyra's bullies even more of a reason to bully the American. No matter what she thought of it just wouldn't end alright for anyone.

"Thank you." She laughed softly at the compliment about her hair - everyone seemed to love her hair and it's colour. It certainly made her stand out but not in a bad way, thankfully.

Apollonia frowned at that but conceded the point. Lyra did belong in America, with all her friends and family. "You do... belong in America that is." The ginger-haired female replied. "But don't you think that you could make this a place to belong as well?" She kindly questioned, gifting Lyra with a soft smile.

"Once or twice; it's not as popular here in England as abroad but some shops do sell it and there's nothing wrong with liking it." She chuckled at how Lyra perked up at the mention of her favourite activity. "There are warming charms and they are just as good as wetsuits if not better." Personally, Apollonia's favourite spell during the winter was the warming charm as she could just dress in her usual clothes without even having to put any warmer layer underneath; she just used the spell and voila, she was warm and didn't have to put on who knows how many shirts or jackets.

"They will come back but you shouldn't worry so much, with a few well-placed hexes and pranks they should leave you alone." Apollonia hummed. "And I'm quite sure that Professor Jake would love to teach someone spells to protect them from bullies, he's always ready to teach anyone who is willing." She saw the blush on Lyra's cheeks but ignored it.

Guest

She thought for a moment, eyes turning down as she did. She didn't think the continent would ever feel like a home, but she had to admit to herself that she at the very least felt more comfortable in the castle then when she'd first arrived. Or, she had until the incident. Now she was constantly on edge, but if she gave it time... could she ever belong here? That was one question she didn't know the answer to at the moment, so in response she gave a half hearted shrug and nod. "Maybe..." Her words were hesitant, but hopeful, for she really and truly hoped that maybe someday she would feel like she fit in here.

The reaffirmation that nothing was wrong with liking the wizarding drink iced, coupled with the fact that the older girl didn't seem to find the action to strange drew a relieved grin to her face. "I'm the only one I know of so far who likes it, but I don't really see how it's too much different than liking iced tea or coffee or something." She hesitated for a moment, frowning slightly. "Unless that's not common here either?"

She tried her hardest to think, nodding slowly. "I know there are charms like that... I just don't know any." Her next words drew an even larger smile from the young witch and she giggled softly. "Well, I don't really know any hexes that would work well enough, but I'm sure I could message my friend back home, Loony, she's soooo bomb at pranks. She probably could help me think of some ideas. I guess that's one good thing about being here, she can't pull pranks on me from that far away."

Her smile faded just slightly at the reminder of the distance but she did her best to push the thought away, moving on. "But anyways, yeah, she'll have some ideas."

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Apollonia just hummed as she listened to Lyra speak, her eyes narrowed as she thought on how to help the fourth year Hufflepuff, truthfully she didn't know, she hadn't been one of those people who helped someone out but clearly the younger girl needed someone in her corner to give her a nudge and a shoulder to cry on at least.

"Iced coffee and iced tea are very common around these parts, people just tend to pretend that they don't know what you are on about." Apollonia kind of found it very amusing when people quickly ordered their drinks and just as quickly drank them when it was something like Iced Coffee. It's not like it was nothing that no-one else had before so she didn't know what the big fuss was about it.

"I'm sure that you could learn some, there are people who wouldn't mind teaching you if you just asked. A lot of your housemates would gladly help and even people from other houses would be there to help, there's nothing stopping you from asking for help from someone." She smiled softly when Lyra inserted her friend from America into the conversation. She just knew that the girl would find her place within Hogwarts sooner rather than later.

"Nothing stopping you from sending her an owl or even calling her, is there?" She questioned kindly. "I'm sure she would love to help you."

Guest

She lit up once more at the news on some of her favorite drinks. Even if people didn't want to admit it, the fact that she could at least order the drinks when she wanted without being told that that wasn't something that these people made cheered her up a bit. She didn't care as much about whether people thought she was weird for liking the beverages as much as she cared about the fact that she could obtain them. "People can be so silly sometimes. What's wrong with just... adding ice to a drink? I mean, since when is ice a bad thing? Come to think about it there's much more ice in everything in America."

She thought slowly on the older girl's words, tucking her legs under her and adjusting to a more comfortable position in the armchair, resting her diary on her knees. An idea made her look at the girl hopefully. "Could... you teach me? You're someone?"

She nodded quickly in response to the question. "Absolutely true. I'll text her later. Time difference and all that. I'm sure she can help, you should see some of the stuff she's capable of." She giggled softly and nodded. "I sent her some stuff for Christmas and have been meaning to hear about her latest stunts anyways, so this'll be perfect!"

Guest

Apollonia couldn't say why people thought it was weird to adding ice into drinks, at the end of the day it was just water but well, they were all weird in one way or another so she wasn't going to go pointing stuff out. "They are two different countries at the end of the day and you come from California which is pretty much a place where it's hot all year round so ice is normal I suppose. England on the other hand... well, our weathers are so unpredictable that you really don't know what you're going to wake up to."

Huffing a short laugh, the older girl looked down at younger one when the question had been voiced. Teach? She had never done it but she supposed that there were always things one had to do once at least. "I don't think I'd mind teaching you." It would be fun, now that she thought about it.

"I'm sure she'd love to help you, she sounds like a lovely friend that you have." Not that she met the girl before but from the few words that Lyra said meant that she certainly counted the other girl as one of her closest friends.

» Apollonia Elaine Leandros
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