Imagining Happiness (Jake)

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Today was the first afternoon that Professor Jake had scheduled their first tutoring lesson. During the school break, she had read up on the Patronus and the psychology of it. Her brother had looked curiously at her during the brief instances they hung out. And by hanging out, it was in reality both of them sitting in the same room reading books. There was a certain truce there, where she allowed him near and he in turn took it in stride. It was sort of nice...or so she thought.

This afternoon, she grabbed a jumper, peacock color and threw up a pair of leggings and boots before rushing out towards his office. She was excited because she did not want to have him to assume less of her. There was a big expectation in her mind. So as she reached at the door, she took a deep breath and knocked softly hoping he had remembered.

Subject: Re: Imagining Happiness (Jake) Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:41 pm

With Christmas out of the way, Jake had sent a note to Tess denoting he would be free on Friday afternoon if this was convenient for her to meet with him on the first week of term. He had kept the afternoon free, after that, and currently sat, once again marking, in his office waiting.

Jake had cleared the room of everything else, leaving only his desk, and more than enough space for them to work in. A good stack of sugary treats sat to his right -- this kind of magic drained the inexperienced of their magical strength, and sugar was a good, quick way of topping it up. Of course, it was only a short term fix, but it would give Tess more time to try to master the spell that very few students had ever managed.

As the hour mark grew closer, Jake readied for Tess' arrival by tidying away her peers' work, and putting it in his bag to take home to finish. This weekend, Jake had to take Ivan to his mini-soccer practice, and then Adrienne would be going to his mom's for her dance lessons -- apparently the three year old was much more receptive to this than he had been at that age. But, Jake would find time to finish the work in and around that.

Hearing the knock at the door, Jake closed his bag as he called out, "Come in!" Only expecting Tess, the Auror did not look to the door immediately, fixing the fastening on his bag, before looking up. "Good afternoon, Tess. How're you feeling?" Jake asked, genuinely interested, but also weighing up his student's mind space in that moment.

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~ Auror ~ Profile ~ DADA Professor ~
~ In a Relationship ~ 36 ~ Father ~ 6' ~ American Accent ~

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When she was signaled in, Tess lightly opened the door hoping to make as little noise as possible to not be too much of a nuisance. A deeper part of her knew that Professor Newbury was doing this out the goodness of his heart, but she did not want to be disappointing. The slight thought of making him realize that there is nothing special about her made her stomach turn a bit. She wanted to be one of the best, if being the best was not possible. So she had read books upon books on the subject they would be reviewing today. She meditated, she even practiced her hand movements. It was both pathetic and reassuring that she wasn't just making this up.

Still, when he asked her how she was, she smiled nervously. "Good Evening Jake" she smiled a little softer realizing it was becoming normal. "I'm fine, if not a bit nervous. How are you? I hope I didn't throw your schedule a bit too much do to this lesson? How are your children?" She remembered briefly of the picture he had signaled during her last visit to his office. She had asked the question to be polite, but she really hoped she wasn't intruding on family time. As she waited her eyes trailed across his office taking in the changes, this was definitely going to be a serious lesson.

Subject: Re: Imagining Happiness (Jake) Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:21 pm

Hearing Tess use his first name rather than 'Professor Newbury' made Jake smile back at the witch in a manner that said thank you without actually saying the words and embarrassing the young witch. He knew it was probably more than a little bit alien to her to do such things, so he most certainly appreciated the effort she was making.

"Good evening, Tess." He replied to her greeting, taking in the words she'd supplied him a moment later. "Please, don't be nervous. It's only you and me here. No one to judge, because, believe me, I know this is not an easy spell, and I think it's admirable that you're not giving up." Jake told her, in the hope of settling her down a little bit in the moment. It might not work, but Jake had at least tried to make her comfortable.

"I'm very well, thank you. And, no you're not throwing my schedule out. I've arranged for a convenient time with my schedule, I assure you." Jake told the witch. Yes, it was a little bit of marking time being encroached upon, but Jake didn't mind that. "The kids are great. They're with their Nanna at the moment, so they won't mind if I'm a little late, because she will be spoiling them rotten once again." Jake explained, a fond smile on his lips as he shook his head at the idea.

His mom had been an absolute rock, and Jake definitely couldn't have gotten through the whole split with his wife without his mom.

"But, we're not here for talk of my life." Jake told her, with a smile to show he hadn't minded, before he got to his feet. "Have you tried the spell again since we tried in class -- please, don't worry, I'm not going to tell you off if you have, I encourage it, in fact." Jake asked, moving around his desk to the space in the room as he waited for Tess' answer to the question.

________________________________________________
~ Auror ~ Profile ~ DADA Professor ~
~ In a Relationship ~ 36 ~ Father ~ 6' ~ American Accent ~

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The more that Professor Newbury spoke, the admiration for the professor grew. He was patient and very kind; it was so unlike the type of mentor or person in her life. Maybe it was an American thing? She doubted it; he was genuine in his positivity an comments which unfortunately made her brush uncontrollably. She didn't know exactly why she was blushing which made her the most horrified, but she hoped he would simply take it as her being extremely skittish, which she would take over him thinking she fancied him in any way.

Still, he did not help the situation when he spoke so lovingly about his children. His voice was even and calming and she found herself feeling her expression softened as he spoke about his kids. She imagined if her father had once spoken about Mycroft and herself in such a tone of love and innate protection. She doubted it...but it was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that there were people out there that genuinely loved their offsprings for all they were worth. It only made her want to do the same for her future children. Children was a definite milestone in her life due to her position, but she knew she would love them with a deep ferocity that no one would be able to break, not even the poor idiotic pureblood man that would be stuck with her.

That changed something in her and she found herself relieve d in the change of topic. There was no need for her ind to go else where but here at the moment. As he asked if she had tried the spell, she wanted to at least explain herself a bit.

" Not particularly. I read a few books on the subject, attempting exercises such as the meditation and trying to bring the happy thoughts forthwith, but I mostly still get the wisp, nothing definite."

Subject: Re: Imagining Happiness (Jake) Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:00 pm

The response that came from Tess about what she had done since the lesson made Jake nod to show that it was good that she had done what she had. The Patronus Charm was not simple, and anything that worked to make it easier was a start, even if it was not practicing the spell directly.

"Very good, Tess." Jake replied when she'd finished. A wisp of a Patronus was more than the majority would ever get, too, but Jake didn't tell the witch that, if she'd read, she knew the complexity of the spell, and molly coddling Tess in that moment was not something Jake believed would be helpful.

"If I may, can I ask which memory you're using to try to conjure the corporeal image?" Jake continued, though he knew this was a very personal question, it was something of a large factor of the spell. "Here, to make it easier for you. When I summon my Patronus, I think of the day my wife," Jake still wasn't used to saying ex-wife, "told me that I was going to be a dad. Or, I think to the time when I held my children in my arms for the first time after they'd been born. On other days, I think to fond childhood memories with my little sister. The adventures we had been on."

Jake paused, allowing a moment for that to sink it. "Whilst the memory doesn't have to be entirely 'happy' it does need to be powerful. And, I want you to think about whether your memory is powerful enough." It was not an accusation, it was simply the fact of this spell. If you could not conjure the strongest of memories, it was almost impossible to complete this spell.

________________________________________________
~ Auror ~ Profile ~ DADA Professor ~
~ In a Relationship ~ 36 ~ Father ~ 6' ~ American Accent ~

Guest

Tess smiled softly at his approval; it was good to hear and feel that she was doing something right. It was a bit embarrassing (if she dare admit), that just the smallest praise made her feel happy. In the majority of the life, there were very little moments when she felt like she mattered. She had come to accept it at a very young age. So there she was shuffling a bit nervously once she realized what question she followed up with.

For some reason she thought that he wouldn't ask her something so private. Because if she was honest she was struggling to come up with a real happy moment. It was not that it was foreign, but coming from a society that so rarely showed such emotions, the idea of letting go was quite frightening. Biting her lip nervously, she heard him express his own memories and she nodded. Clearing her throat she thought of the first thought she had.

"I think about my grandmere. Just spending time with her, and her wishing to train me in ways of society. There is this one time..."a wisp of a smile rose. "when she told me that I was meant for something greater than this...and she meant simply being a woman." her eyes soon dimmed realizing that her main supporter was far away. "But...I miss her, so I..I realize that the light dims as soon as I admit that. She's not here and I can't go..so" she cleared her throat as she almost choked up.

But there was was wondering if she should even admit to the professor how little joy she'd had that truly impacted her. Was she that defective?

Subject: Re: Imagining Happiness (Jake) Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:47 am

Jake listened attentively to the explanation that was given by Tess. What she thought of when trying to conjure the Patronus Charm was a happy thought -- he could only imagine the life of a Pureblood witch -- but Tess seemed to not be able to keep an eye of the positive, instead focusing on something that troubled her in that moment. Jake was not a psychologist, though, and though he wished to help the witch as much as possible, he had his own limits.

Still, as a parent, he could see the signs of distress in the child before him, and knew that he had to do something before they could focus on the Patronus Charm.

"Forgive me, if I am overstepping." Jake started, making it known he was not trying to intrude on Tess' personal affairs, but needing to put something out there in the moment. "But, distance does not make the words, or feelings, of those we love diminish. I know you might not believe me, I am only your teacher, after all, but I believe that your Grandmere would be quite disheartened to find that you grew so saddened by her absence. For, and I tell this to my children, the ones who we love and who love us are always here." Jake explained, his left hand moving to cover his chest, over where his heart was.

It was soppy, Jake was fully aware of that, but it was something he believed no less. It made the time away from those you loved easier to cope with, and therefore, it was definitely something would encourage others to use.

For a moment, Jake was quiet, working to see if that would help Tess in any way. If it didn't, they would need to reassess on a happy memory for the witch to use, because the distraction of the distance she felt from her Grandmere would outshine the happy memory she was trying to focus on.

________________________________________________
~ Auror ~ Profile ~ DADA Professor ~
~ In a Relationship ~ 36 ~ Father ~ 6' ~ American Accent ~

Guest

Her admission of her heartbreak was spectacularly horrifying. Her eyes had shined with unshed tears as she thought about her grandmere. She knew that it was not as if her grandmere was gone, but throughout her formative years she was raised by the woman all on her own. And in those important moments of her life, where her father neglected all the more, her grandmere would show her the beauty of life. While the woman was spectacularly pragmatic and cruel at times, the thorns on the prickly woman was very much harmless to her granddaughter. Tess knew that she was the preferred grandchild to her grandmere and for once it made her feel special.

She took as sharp breath as the tears nearly spilled. Thankfully the professor had not noticed and she took his words in, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. Being pulled away from all she held close was still a thorn to her side, but she nodded allowing herself to take in what he said. She knew that if her grandmere was there she would scoff and slap her hand silly at the emotional mess that she was. Her lip twitched at the thought.

She briefly remembered what her grand-mère had told her during their last days of being together. "Tess, mon chérie, please know that it took me a long time to develop my voice and now that I have it I will never be silent again. You will too gain your voice, and you will bring men to their knees to worship you.' Tess eyes glittered in determination and as she found herself ready she looked up to the older man with a determined expression.

"I'd like to try that charm once more if you wouldn't mind" She kept her
grand-mère's voice repeating over and over in her head like a mantra. No Holmes woman was a frail flower for long, it was not their way.

Subject: Re: Imagining Happiness (Jake) Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:24 pm

Allowing Tess a moment, in which Jake's eyes rested on the wall just behind Tess because he didn't wish to intrude, the professor waited for the Slytherin to be able to process all he had said in that moment. He didn't doubt that it was a lot to take on board, being told that someone still cared for you, no matter the distance, was not something you could accept in a moment.

But, Tess was resilient, and Jake couldn't help feel proud of the young witch as she insisted that she would like to try the spell one more time.

Nodding his assent, Jake motioned for Tess to get herself ready. "Clear your mind. Pretend that I am not here, and focus on the memory, in all it's glory. Get it solidly in your head, and only when the picture is as clear as if it was real. Only then, do I want you to attempt to cast the spell." Jake told the witch very softly, not wanting to break her concentration, but wanting the steps for this to be successful to be as clear as possible.

With that said, Jake fell silent, simply waiting for the Slytherin witch to try the spell once more.

________________________________________________
~ Auror ~ Profile ~ DADA Professor ~
~ In a Relationship ~ 36 ~ Father ~ 6' ~ American Accent ~

» Happiness in all the darkness
» Defence Against the Dark Arts: Lesson One - Years 1-4
» You Kept This From Me?!? (Kit & Jake)
» Spark of Joy (Jake)
» A welcome home. (Jake )