How long can one pretend to be okay? (Mimosa)

Sleep. Just sleep. That's all she needed. Just to close her eyes and push all the thoughts away and curl up with her blanket and sleep.

But it wasn't that simple. The world never was.

The last couple weeks had gone by in a blur for the little fourth year. Apologies and condolences and prayers spoken and promised by mostly people she didn't know. Black dresses and flowers and words spoken that went in one ear and out the other. Tears and hugs and sobs that broke her heart more and more. All for two people she'd known her whole life, that she'd seen and spent time with every summer without fail. All for her aunt and uncle.

Assassinated. That was the word she'd heard floating around in hushed voices that she wasn't meant to hear. Not only were they dead, they had been killed. It hadn't been a random accident, or an act of God, but a purposeful move made by someone who had no right to take someone else's life from them.

What was she supposed to do with that information? It honestly made everything ten times worse, because not only were the man and woman taken from her, from their children, from their family, but they had been taken by a person. A person who was still out there, probably killing other people. And there was nothing, absolutely nothing, she could do about it.

It had been almost a week since she'd found out, and she was sick of people. Sick of their fake words and fake expressions, but even more sick of the real words and real expressions that just tore her open all over again. She wanted to be alone. But when she was alone... there were no distractions. Only her and her thoughts and she couldn't take that either.

No, she needed her friends. She needed Sunny and Cocoa and Loony, but they weren't there. And they couldn't be there. She was alone, and that was that.

She didn't even get to be out of school for very long. Just for the funeral and memorial, and wake, and all the stuff she didn't want to remember. But she'd had to be strong. When she'd been away from school she'd put on a perfect show. She'd played it off as strong, sad and silent, but she never cried. She'd only cried once in the three days she'd been away, and if she were in a better mind frame she might have been proud of herself.

She knew it had helped the twins. Bea and Kat, the poor girls had been horribly upset the whole time, understandably so, but between her and Gabriel they'd managed to comfort them as much as was possible. There was only so much to say to a couple of eleven year olds who were now orphans after all.

And Gabe... well, he put on a good show. Covered everything with silence or witty remarks, but Lyra saw right through him. And the second they'd been alone together they'd both been a mess.

But it was over now. She was back at school and she didn't know what to do with herself. She'd gone through the motions of her routine mechanically, but was nothing like her usual self. She did her work in her classes, listened to conversations without hearing them, and gave people an occasional smile to show that she was fine. Not that any of them knew.

She'd opted to not tell anyone about the deaths in her family. She didn't need their pity, didn't want it. and yet there was something entirely alone about nobody knowing. Gabe and the twins hadn't yet arrived, and who knows when they would. Lyra's parents were trying to give the three of them time to get settled in and time to grief before being thrown into a new school.

But crying into her pillow at night to muffle the sounds she made after the rest of her dorm was asleep and walking around like a robot was no longer enough. she couldn't do it anymore. So, she decided to open up to the best friend Hogwarts had to offer.

Lyra wrapped a blanket around her thin frame and left her dorm room behind. The dungeons were mercifully empty that night and she prayed that... well she wasn't sure what to pray for. She didn't want to have to wake the younger girl up, but she also wanted everyone to be asleep so she wouldn't have to deal with them overhearing.

The password to the Slytherin common room was spoken in a hushed whisper and it wasn't long before Lyra had made her way the the Slytherin third year girls dormitory, a quick scan of the room telling her that nobody was awake. She tightened her grip on the blanket and crept to Mimosa's bed as quietly as possible.

"Mary-Kate?" She hissed, reaching out to shake the girl's shoulder gently. "Mimosa? Pleeeeease wake up?"

After Slytherin and Gryffindor's victory, Mimosa found that in addition to sleeping peacefully, she now had wonderfully pleasant dreams. The child wasn't sure if this was an anomaly or if she'd always had pleasant dreams but she woke up most days with a smile on her face and a lovely, warm feeling of being around someone she really liked.

Tonight was no different, her dreams were full of the palace and Jacques, but instead of being indoors they were having a picnic in the gardens with Grandmere and Grandpere. Everyone was there, even Clara and grandpa and Mercy and Jake and they all had a surprise for her. The child squealed happily on her picnic blanket, waiting for a door to open to reveal her final gift and after a moment it appeared.

Elenore Lissette Clement stepped through the door, smiling radiantly at Mimosa. The young brunette jumped to her feet and ran towards Elenore, intending to hug her just like she did with her Jacques when Elenore parted her lips to speak, her voice more anxious and whispery than her glowing facial expressions betrayed.

"Mary-Kate? "Mimosa? Pleeeeease wake up?"

hat wasn't right. Elenore didn't call her Mary-Kate. the only person that did that was...

"Ashley," the girl mumbled sleepily, opening one eye to see a shadow hovering over her bed. "Oh Ashley!" she repeated, trying to wake herself up as the realization hit that this was no longer a dream. Lyra was really here in her bed, in the middle of the night. Had something happened to her?

"What's up,' she asking, containing a huge yawn and sitting up in bed, the covers sliding off her petite frame to reveal the exquisite floral nightgown underneath. It didn't occur to Mimosa to worry, never having had any cause to do so in life. So the witch assumed her modelling twin was only here for a bit of midnight mischief.

"Are we pranking Lilac again?" She asked breathlessly, the excitement already shining in her eyes. 'Let's switch her shampoo with honey, she'll get super sticky in the morning!"

Her nickname from her friend's lips drew a brief smile from Lyra. The name was repeated as she climbed up to sit on the younger girl's bed as Mimosa sat up. "I just... needed some friend time?" She was a chicken, she could admit it, but what was she supposed to do? Just come out and say 'hey, my aunt and uncle died and I'm barely holding it together and I haven't told you about it for weeks because I didn't actually want to deal with it'?

The idea for the prank drew a small giggle from Lyra. "Why are we always pranking Lilac? Isn't there anyone else who's done you wrong?" She thought back through the other few pranks they'd done and frowned slightly. "What did she do anyways? We really should be pranking those Gryffindor boys..."

She paused, realizing she wasn't sure if she'd even filled her friend in on that whole incident. Sure there had been the rumors and stories that had spread through the school, but had they ever actually talked about it? She legitimately couldn't remember at the moment and frowned slightly to herself.

Had she been neglecting her friend lately?

Not that it mattered, Mimosa always had at least ten friends around her all the time. And really could you blame her? Life had been all over the place lately, and she had only really just started catching up on her classes. Still, she needed some serious catch up time with the Slytherin.

"I just... needed some friend time?"

The twelve year old nodded, accepting Lyra's explanation without any qualms. She was the older witch's friend of course, so friend time would involve her. It didn't matter if it was the day or the night. In fact, it was probably better that it was the middle of the night, they wouldn't be disturbed that way. Now that Mimosa actually thought about it, she had barely seen Ashley since the ball. She had simply assumed the Hufflepuff was busy too, or just lost in the crowd of people that usually followed the little brunette everywhere.

"We can have friend time," she nodded moving aside to make room for her modelling twin. When Lyra climbed into the bed, Mimosa moved closer to her, slipping a small arm around her shoulders.

"Why are we always pranking Lilac? Isn't there anyone else who's done you wrong?"

The young Slytherin merely shook her head. No one ever did her wrong, nor had Lilac. It was just the stupid way she walked around the common room talking to people and siting on things and wearing her stupid uniform. Lilac wasn't supposed to be here, this was not a school for servants. "She's just annoying," Mimosa declared, wrinkling her nose at the thought of a first year. "She isn't even supposed to be here, she was supposed to go to some poor people school. And she talks to my friends like they're her friends when they aren't!"

It was hard to put into words why Lilac Capulet was so annoying so Mimosa didn't try, instead focusing on Lyra's next suggestion.

"What Gryffindor boys?"

The acceptance received from her explanation by the little witch both helped calm Lyra slightly and sent a pang of guilt through her. The way she didn't doubt for a second that her only motive was to hang out. In truth, in the days before her Aunt and Uncle's deaths she couldn't recall the last time she'd gone out of her way to surprise Mary-Kate with some random, uninterrupted friend time.

As Mimosa made room for her she got comfortable, leaning into her friend some as the younger girl slipped an arm around her shoulders. It always surprised her how comforting something so simple as a touch can be, and yet it was. She couldn't even pinpoint why, really. For animals, supposedly hugs were soothing because of the pressure, so when you wrapped them in a weighted blanket it had the same effect, but for humans it was something different.

She didn't have too much time to think about it as the Slytherin started talking about what was so wrong about Lilac, though they all sounded like weak reasons to Lyra. "What poor people school?" She hadn't heard of any school that was only for the poor, and besides, everyone in the school was poor compared to Mimosa. She could see, however, how the first year intruding on all her friends could be annoying, but considering pretty much the whole school was friends with her modeling buddy, who was she really supposed to make friends with, no one?

"What Gryffindor boys?"

She sighed softly. "Just some stupid bullies. They were messing with me even before the fashion show, and now.... Well, they stopped for a little while before the fashion show after a couple... less than kind pranks, and I figured if it worked then, it could work now. I don't think they'll stop otherwise." Plus, besides the payback, maybe laughing at those boys would get the attention off of her and Bushrah. Lyra had nearly grown used to it, and was capable of ignoring the mocking and the rumors, that or standing up for herself, but it was hitting Bushrah harder, poor girl.

Her Aunt and Uncle's accident and her cousins now added into the Hogwarts mix only added to Lyra's already present stresses. Gabriel liked to pretend he was fine, and bury himself in work and things, but she could see through it. The girls had their moments, mostly in the evenings and at night, but they were doing better than he was. And Lyra had to be there for them.That was her new job. And she had promised herself she wouldn't let anything else get in the way of that. Gabriel didn't even really know about the bullying, partly because he was too busy focusing on other things, but mostly because she hid it from him the best she could.

Which is why she needed this. Some me time with her friend. She'd been upset at her at first, hanging out mostly with Bushrah and Mariah, and then Gabriel and the girls when they arrived, but she missed her friend. So, she'd decided to let herself believe that her Mary-Kate hadn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, whether it was true or not.

"What poor people school?"

Mimosa opened her mouth to answer, only to close it again as she considered her friend's question. Of course she didn't know of any poor people schools by name. She had never had occasion to even hear of one let alone visit one. She wasn't poor after all. But there must be some schools where people like Lilac Capulet went? Unless poor people didn't even go to school? Yeah, that sounded about right, though the child didn't bother reflecting on it for longer than necessary.

Whatever poor people did or did not do was no concern of hers, she just knew this wasn't the place for them.

Instead she focused on what Lyra was telling her.

"People were messing with you and you didn't tell me?" she questioned, more curious than defensive. Why would anyone mess with Lyra, and especially when they knew she could mess with them right back? "Are they still doing that? I can fix that? There was this really bad Gryffindor boy in my first year who was messing with a house elf and I made him stop with a bit of help from Sterling. These boys should't be a problem."

The young Slytherin meant it too, no one was allowed to mess with her twin. Though the witch waited quietly for the other California girl's reply, she had already made up ehr ind. She could go see Jake and ask him who the boys were. He had to know because they were in his house. And then she would confront them and teach them a thing or two. There was no doubt in the child's mind that the older boys were no match for her and her exemplary wandwork.

She frowned slightly, gaze turning down to the bed below her guiltily. "I don't know?" Yes she did. "I thought I could handle it I guess?" Also not entirely honest. "It didn't seem like a big deal." Yes it did. "I guess I didn't want to worry you either." Finally a snippet of truth.

It was more like she didn't want to seem weak for not being able to deal with a couple of jerks. Besides, there wasn't much Mimosa could do that Lyra hadn't already tried other than using her status which Lyra made a point to try to never use. It just felt like she was taking advantage of the younger girl and she hated that feeling.

"I mean, yeah they are, but it's really not a big deal. Don't worry about it. They're just a bunch of dumb guys trying to seem cooler than they are. I talked to a couple teachers and stuff already, so they're going to get in trouble for it anyways." Not entirely a lie. She talked to them about it the first time, just.... not since then. It would only make it worse after all.

"As for you fixing it, it's really okay. As soon as they find something else to occupy their time they'll get distracted." Besides, better her than Bushrah. At least if they were focusing on her, the other girl was safe elsewhere. At least, safe from them.

She felt bad about the lies, half lies, and/or held back truths she'd told one of her closest friends here, but she wasn't ready to tell the truth. She wasn't ready for everyone else to know just how much words hurt, how much she thought about them, and how much she held back from showing everyone else. Maybe someday she could talk about it, but not now, not yet.

The Slytherin listened as her twin tried to explain, all the while knowing that Lyra had clearly misjudged. Of course she couldn't handle it on her own, she needed some help which was okay. And Mimosa intended to provide that help. What were friends for, after all?

"Teachers don't know anything," the child declared dismissively. They only knew how to give homework and do classes, but nothing that was actually important or soemthing that mattered. If Lyra had gone to a teacher, her troubles were far from over. "Except Jake, he's cool. Did you go to him, I bet he can deal with those boys."

When the Hufflepuff once again began about how she didn't need help, Mimosa brought a finger softly up to her lips. 'Ashley, shhh, it's okay," she soothed. The older witch clearly needed help and was also not asking for it. In fact, actively denying it. And that would never sit well with Mimosa. In fact, the Slytherin would now make it a priority to visit those boys and tell them what was what. She was sure they would get in line in a heartbeat or risk her unbridled twelve year old fury.

The statement that their teachers didn't know anything was certainly not one Lyra could agree with, but she gave her friend a small smile anyways. "Of course I talked to Jake," she had, just not recently. She tried to think back to what he'd said. "He said that I was brave, and that they were cowards, and that they wouldn't hurt me again."

That had only ended up being partly true. The boys were cowards, and they hadn't technically hurt her again. Not physically. But, with a bit of practice they knew exactly where to poke at her to get through, to place doubts, to make her paranoid. They didn't have to get physical to hurt her, there were plenty of other ways to break someone down for your own amusement.

What was that saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. What a bunch of crap. You can try to ignore words, let them roll off your back, or even deflect them back. But they get through eventually, and Lyra was pretty confident that it didn't matter who you were, if your assailant was stubborn and patient enough they could get through your barriers. Even if you didn't show it.

As for her being brave... well, she wasn't sure what to think. She tried to be, but did it count as brave if she still felt the sting of their verbal abuse? Bravey meant to be strong, and to be strong was to have no weakness, and she had plenty of those. So, no. She wasn't brave.

She didn't try to dissuade the younger girl much longer, cutting herself off in shock as her friend brought a finger to her lips, her words trying to soothe Lyra. The strangest part is, she couldn't tell if it had worked. She didn't quite feel as calm as her friend seemed to be, but she no longer felt the need to ramble so much either.

She guessed it wouldn't hurt to let her modeling twin help... right? After all, what are friends for? Maybe she was right, maybe Mimosa could deal with the boys better than she could. It wasn't using her if she'd offered to help. At least, that's what she told herself. Still, she didn't respond more than a slight nod, trying to ignore the fact that nothing really felt okay.

She snuggled closer to the younger girl instead, eyes closing lightly. "Can I sleep over?" She didn't want to leave. Not yet. So when Mimosa gave her confirmation she gave her a small smile. She just wanted to cuddle with her friend a while longer and not have to worry about anything else. Just her Mary-Kate, and some stolen moments of peace.