The Muggle Way (Nerisei)

“Neri…”

At the sound of his voice, Nerisei inhaled sharply. Her eyes never left the screen, though. She didn’t want to look at him. Nerisei had never, and would never push Dimitri into doing something that he didn’t want, but recently, she had no idea what he truly wanted from her. And frankly, neither did he. Dimitri’s words were always one of care, reminding her that whatever he did was for her protection, and that he never meant to hurt her. But Dimitri, in his attempt to protect her, hurt her even more. And the Ravenclaw witch didn’t know for how long she could put up with it, before exploding.

“What’s wrong? I didn’t… mean any harm. I’m just… I’m not ready for that, not yet.”

“For what, Dimitri? Ready for what? Did I give you the impression I was ready to do things that you aren’t comfortable with? Or have I ever forced you into anything? I am not a monster, thank you!” Nerisei snapped, turning to look at him coldly. No, she was not going to be good and sweet, because she hadn’t done anything wrong. If Dimitri found it hard to make a decision, and figure out what exactly he wanted them to be, imagine how hard it was for her. She was no mind reader.

“Please don’t be mad with me just because I got uncomfortable…”

Dimitri moved closer to Nerisei, opening his arms for her, in case she wanted to cuddle. But Nerisei didn’t move. Her eyes found his, softening for the slightest moment, before she turned back to the movie. A sigh escaped the witch’s lips, and she brought her lower lip between her teeth, thinking. What should she do? Say that everything was fine, and pretend nothing happened? No, they had been doing this for far too long.

But his embrace looked so inviting…

Before the wizard could pull away, Nerisei moved into his arms, snuggling into his side. She hadn’t forgiven him at all, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to go. It didn’t mean she wanted to lose him. “I am still mad at you.” Nerisei admitted, even though her face was nuzzling his chest. Nerisei had deep feelings for the wizard, but he was confusing her way too much. The witch was never good with expressing her feelings, and Dimitri simply made it harder.

But she still had hope…

The witch never meant to hurt Dimitri, or make him uncomfortable, but she couldn’t understand what was going on inside that head of his either. One moment he was treating her as if she was his girlfriend, and the next, they were back to ‘being friends’ and making him uncomfortable. Nerisei’s brain was being toyed with, and she was not enjoying it at all. She knew very well that he had grown up in a very different environment. She understood that some things seemed crazy or even forbidden for him, but that didn’t mean she was purposefully trying to create a problem in this… relationship they had. She just wanted him to make a decision, and see that some things that he was so scared of, were practically nothing scary. They were normal.

“You know… I didn’t pull away because I didn’t like it…”

They were bundled up together, watching the scenes of the movie go by. She could sense that Dimitri was not as relaxed as he was before, and there was a part of her that hated the fact that she was the reason he was feeling down. But, she couldn’t handle this. Being friends with Dimitri was something Nerisei had considered hard, because of her feelings for him. But this? This undefined relationship they had as of lately was even worse that being friends. At least then, she knew where her limits ended.

The further Dimitri explained how he felt, the more the witch felt terrible. But, it wasn’t truly her fault! She understood that he had no idea what the things he felt meant, and truthfully, she had no idea either. She knew biology, that much was sure, and she was able to explain why some things happened, but that didn’t mean that she had everything worked out. Neri doubted that Biology was the problem with Dimitri. The problem was his taboos. The ones Nerisei didn’t have because she was Muggleborn. Because she didn’t belong in his world.

She understood, though.

“Oh, Mitri…” Neri whispered,pulling back slightly to look at him. He was sincere, like always. Nerisei had never seen him lie to her. Dimitri was a gentleman, and he had always treated her with honesty and respect. The way every girl should be treated.

“I am sorry.” The Ravenclaw waved her hand, pausing the movie, before speaking up once again. “I don’t want to pressure you. I am not telling you what to do. I just… I don’t know either, Dimitri. I like kissing you. I like being with you. I… I had a crush on you for a year. That said, it doesn’t mean that you have to feel the same way, or do things that you don’t want to. You said you like what we do. Though, whether you should follow your instincts… That is solely your choice, Dimitri. You can’t hurt me. Nothing can happen, unless we want it to. It is our choice if we want to let go and give in to this. It’s all your choice.”

Leaning closer, Neri placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lips, giving him a big smile. No matter what he picked, she would be here. She couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t get mad, but she could promise that she would find a way to handle it.

Once Nerisei explained everything she had going on in her head, the duo settled back into a comfortable silence, their eyes glued to the screen. Neither of them had anything more to say, it seemed, and Neri was fine with that. Dimitri was still not okay with this, but the Ravenclaw witch didn’t know what else to do. No matter what she did or said, they always ended up in a position that Dimitri was not comfortable with. And she didn’t like it. At all.

Deciding, though, that she didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening in a moody environment, the witch let this subject drop, and instead focused on keeping calm. Thoughts were tormenting her head, but she was not going to think about it too much. After all, there was no point. No, The best things she could do was allow Dimitri to make the moves. No more initiating from her part. No more pushing, as he said.

If he wanted something, he would have to work for it.

Because Nerisei was not going to be pushed around and played with.

The movie was over a couple of hours later, and Nerisei, with tears running down her face, helped Dimitri gather all of their stuff and move back to the Ravenclaw Tower. All eyes were, once again, on them, as they entered.the Common Room, but the young witch didn’t bother to acknowledge anyone. Turning around to look at Dimitri, she offered him a weak smile and a whispered ‘Goodnight’, before ascending the stairs to her dorm. She didn’t want to talk to him. She needed time.

She had promised not to push him, but it didn’t mean she had to sit around and hurt herself in the process.

No. Until Dimitri Moreau, finally, made a decision, Nerisei was going to be exactly what she had been all these months. Just his friend.