I'll keep on trying... (Joshua)

Subject: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:53 pm

The thick cream envelope weighed more than it had any right to, weighed down her hands, weighed down her entire body as Azalea made her way to the back of the groundskeeper's cabin, to the area where Evelyn usually taught her kids. Everything was quiet now, the kids off for lunch, Evelyn probably off to do the same. Weak Janurary sunlight swept the green land around the school, highlighting her hair in various shades of brown as the witch walked, head bowed low against the slight shill in the wind despite the appearance of sun in the sky.

It was almost unreal, having to attend two funerals in two months. And maybe that's why Professor Winchester had ensured no fuss would be made over his own going. As the witch reached the remains of what had once been a pumpkin patch, realization hit.

There would never be a funeral for the man. No one in the world cared that he was no longer alive.

No one except her.

Azalea sank down on the ground, noticing that fresh grass had begun to grow in place of everything Dominus had burnt to the ground almost a year ago. The resilient blades of green seemed to testify to the strength of life, how it went on despite all the obstacles it had to face.

The first tear rolled down her cheek as she drew her knees closer to her body, curling in on herself. The envelope fell from her hands as she stayed that way. Perhaps no one in the world would mourn Edward Winchester, but she could. And she would do it quietly, just as he would have wanted.

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I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Rsz_gr10

I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Rsz_az10

I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Rsz_li10

Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:54 pm

With the Christmas holidays come and gone, word had gotten around that problems had arisen in America. Not to mention the whole host of problems he'd faced when he'd arrived home to face his mother asking him as to whether he'd been in Ireland recently. None of it really made any sense to the blonde boy, but he had every intention on keeping himself aware of people who thought it right to try and tarnish the Murray name. The news among the Pureblood parties was focused around the new era of ideals, something Josh wasn't entirely interested in, but knowledge had always been power.

Whoever had brought the information to his father had perished soon after, holding too much information which could be dangerous to the Murray name. Layton Murray was much too clever to let a single person give the Murray name a tiny scratch, let alone something so huge as putting there name next to activities they hadn't yet decided if they were going to help, resist or stay away from.

Moving through the Hogwarts grounds, Josh pulled his Quidditch jacket around him tighter, cold never really affected him, but he had a feeling in his stomach that something wasn't right, and quite simply he was trying to ignore it as his arms circled his stomach. January was always a peculiar time of year, and the Slytherin had many things in mind as he made his way across the grounds. It wasn't until he heard the sound of someone near by that Josh realised where he was, somebody was crying, something that usually wouldn't have bothered the Slytherin in the slightest, but this... Turning just around the corner, Josh froze in place as he spotted the person in question.

Azalea Harrington.

Many people would have labelled his interest in the girl past the point of normality. Many might have called it a term that held no value in Josh's world. Some might have called it an obsession. Josh didn't have a term for the things he did, the things he felt, the things he did for Azalea. They just were. If Josh had been capable of noticing, he would have known his body had forgotten all functions as he stumbled in shock, moving closer to the girl he held higher than anyone in the world. He might even have recognised the way his breathing became shallow, ragged, difficult.

"Az...A-A-A-Azalea?" Josh spoke, barely whispering to her as his whole body defied him, refused to function because quite simply he couldn't see her like this. The contraction of his throat as he spoke made the feeling of helplessness all the more prominent as he some how managed to get to the older witch's side. The Quidditch captain knelt in front of his professor, reaching up very tentatively to brush the offending tears away from her face. "P-please don't cr-cry A-A-A-Azalea..." Josh told the girl, hating the whole situation he'd found her in. "No... No crying..."

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:55 pm

Azalea wasn't sure how long she had been sitting on the ground, or when her decision of silent tears had turned into not so silent sobs but it couldn't have been that long. The wind was cold against her warm tears but not cold enough to make her leave.

She wondered if someone had even bothered burying Edward Winchester or if he lay in a morgue somewhere, unclaimed. The thought made the tears flow harder.

The first thing Azalea noted of Josh Murray was the pale, clumsy hand that tried to wipe away her tears, followed immediately by a tone of voice she had never heard from the Slytherin in all the years of teaching him. The boy looked ill, frightened. Azalea wondered if it was her doing or if he'd been scared by something else.

"P-please don't cr-cry A-A-A-Azalea..."

The witch blinked, concern overshadowing grief for the moment. Josh was a student and he clearly wasn't alright. And if it was because of her, she could at least fix that. Reaching up, the girl wiped the remainder of the tears of her face before offering him a weak smile.

"H-hi-' she offered, patting the grass beside her. "Its okay Josh, everything's fine. I'm n-not crying anymore." Almost in defiance, the next tear slid out, despite her trying to contain it. "I've just received some terrible news, and in the worst way possible." The witch motioned to the discarded envelope on the ground.

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:55 pm

Josh couldn't help the confusion in Azalea's current state, how could she be so upset? Even as the professor reached up and brushed the tears away, Josh's eyes were frantically searching for an answer in hers that would some how make this comprehendible to him. But the simple fact of the matter was Josh couldn't possibly understand such things as tears, because he had never truly cried. Fake tears when he was younger, most certainly, but Josh couldn't conceive the realism of Azalea's. Tears could be turned off like a tap.

But emotions didn't work like that, something Josh would likely never comprehend.

The notion for him to sit next to her was accepted by the Slytherin, carefully putting himself next to her. Even as she told him that she was finished crying, Josh saw another tear cascading down her cheek. Instinct told him to wipe it away, and once more, Josh did just that, trying to take away her emotions in the only manner he knew how. Take away the evidence.

A mention of a letter made Josh look to the floor, the first time he'd taken his eyes off of her. Carefully picking it up, Josh didn't miss the tremor that went through Azalea's body. Cold. Looking around for something to help her, Josh shrugged off his jacket, carefully putting it around her shoulders. Because unlike any other girl Josh had ever been this close to, Azalea was the only one that mattered if she broke.

"What's in the letter?" Josh asked softly, turning the parchment over in his hands. After a moment of hesitation the boy opened it and carefully began to read. Information was easy to deal with. Edward Winchester, dead. Heir to Bellatrix Lestrange's fortune, passed on to Azalea. Ministry with holding the proceeds until they are looked in to more closely, solvable. Josh frowned at the paper, not understanding why she was crying about inheritance. Surely inheriting from such a well known family could only be a good thing?

"The Ministry will let you have it all. I'll see to that." Josh told the girl, his eyes reverting back to hers in that moment. It didn't need to be said that Josh simply wasn't understanding her emotions, it was just as obvious as his name being pulled out of nowhere for some fraud to use.

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:56 pm

Over the years of her teaching at Hogwarts, Josh Murray had perhaps been the most difficult student Azalea had ever encountered. The boy was neither stupid nor particularly interested in Herbology, that much she'd noted. He wasn't particularly nice either and more assertive and entitled then any kid his age had a right to be. And yet somehow Azalea had never given him as much thought as she had other students. Maybe it was because he never came to her with problems, maybe it was because he often projected that image of not needing any help that made Azalea overlook him. Though the witch prided herself in knowing all her students, it couldn't be denied that she didn't know Josh at all.

When he brushed the last of her tears way even as she tried to compose herself, more for his sake then her own, Azalea was surprised to find him removing his jacket and placing it on her narrow shoulders. The gesture in itself wasn't new, she had just never associated it with the boy sitting next to her reading the contents of the envelope that had been Azalea's only warning that Edward Winchester was dead.

The warmth of the jacket was welcome regardless.

"The Ministry will let you have it all. I'll see to that."

Azalea shook her head sadly at the boy's misunderstanding. "It's not about the inheritance Josh," she explained softly, her tone tainted with guilt and sorrow as she pulled the jacket closer around her. "Its just... this is a terrible way to find out someone important to you has died no? He... Mr. Winchester was my... he taught me how to fight." The Nightshade hadn't realized how hard it would be to put into words the bond she and the man had shared. Had he ever looked on her as anything more than a student? He had, she knew that now, considering his will.

The thought that she had never told him he meant more to her than a teacher made something sharp stab her insides. It ws too late now.

"I never realized I was of any importance to him and now... and now its too late to thank him."

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:56 pm

"It's not about the inheritance Josh,"

The frown on Josh's features deepened at her words, not understanding why she was crying in that case. The explanation of this being the worst way to find out that someone had died didn't help the boy to understand her any more, it just made things worse. How could she not understand the assets she was going to accumulate from the death of the Lestrange heir? Merlin knew half of England would be queuing up for what she'd just received.

"I never realized I was of any importance to him and now... and now its too late to thank him."

"You... don't think you're important?" Josh asked, turning himself slightly to see the girl properly. "How..." The boy stopped, simply looking at her for a moment to try to understand the girl's line of thought when she believed such things. Josh shook his head at her, confidence was taught at a young age, instilled in his mind. "You're important, A-Azalea." He told her, still not totally sure on how she could believe such impossibilities.

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:57 pm

"You... don't think you're important?"

Azalea remained quiet, pretending he hadn't heard his question. He was a kid, a distressed one too at the moment and he didn't need to know her messed up history with self esteem. How could she explain that the most important thing in the world to her was someone who didn't feel the same way. how she would never have believed she meant anything more than a student to Professor Winchester until and unless what had happened did happen. Perhaps this was his way of telling her that she mattered? Azalea would never know now.

"You're important, A-Azalea." He told her, still not totally sure on how she could believe such impossibilities.

Noting the slight stutter which she could only attribute to the shock of finding a teacher in this state, Azalea wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, giving him a slight squeeze to reassure him everything was alright. Granny Weatherwax knew he looked scared enough as it was.

"I know," she said with a nod. "Its just... we didn't talk a lot when he was alive, not outside of lessons. And now I won't get to tell him that he was important to me too." she attempted once more.

"Its like losing a friend you thought would always be around. You don't thank your friends for hanging around do you? You think its their job, and its your job to hang around them. But then one day you find out that they're gone and you suddenly realize a whole lot of things you never said to them." Judging from the way the blonde reacted, Azalea supposed he was one of the lucky few to have never received the news of someone dying.

"Your Ministry," the witch tried her best not to let the venom in her voice be too apparent at the mention of the institution. "They're more concerned about what happens to the things he left behind, not what happened to him. I don't see any signs of a funeral, or even a proper burial. They think I would care more about a mansion and some lands then the man who made me realize that I could fight my way out of anything."

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:58 pm

If there was one thing that Josh could have taken in the same manner he took everything else in life, it would have been the moment that Azalea hugged him to her side. The way her hand had curled around his bicep and brought him closer to her. The warmth that came from her person to surround him in that moment. How the scent of her perfume assaulted every single one of his senses and left him with nothing to grasp in the end. A tingling sensation ran down his back, alerting him to a feeling he'd never felt before, awakened his body in a manner he never thought to be possible.

And then it was gone.

Only the increased beating of his heart and the cold attack on his skin where her presence had been was proof that it had happened. Josh only just managed to regain himself as he looked up to her, trying to keep the excitement from the situation from being displayed on his face. As she spoke about friends, Josh only nodded, he didn't have friends, friends created weakness that he couldn't afford, and everyone in this school was, quite simply, unworthy of him.

"They're more concerned about what happens to the things he left behind, not what happened to him. I don't see any signs of a funeral, or even a proper burial."

There was no mistaking the venom, no matter how well the witch tried to hide it from him. Josh moved slightly closer to Azalea, leaning in to her with a smile that showed he was up to something. "To talk about the will, they have to have a body." Josh whispered, putting his arm around her and pulling her back close. She didn't need to know the intention was to have her in his arms this time, take in how she fit in to his arms. "Especially with a big family. He'll have a proper burial, A-Azalea. I'll see to it that you get the funeral for Mr Winchester." His voice was full of promise, not that of the usual man who may have doubted his success rate. Murray's never failed to get what they wanted.

If a burial was what Azalea wanted, he would get that for her.

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:58 pm

The fact that the Slytherin, who, as Azalea could see clearly was at least as tall as her if not an inch taller, was trying to return the friendly hug made Azalea smile a little despite the situation. As Josh pointed out that they needed a body for the will to be valid, Azalea couldn't help the warm glow that took hold somewhere deep inside her. If there was a body, it could be claimed. Professor Winchester wouldn't get to leave without a proper goodbye.

"Especially with a big family. He'll have a proper burial, A-Azalea. I'll see to it that you get the funeral for Mr Winchester."

"That's very nice of you to offer, Josh," the brunette smiled. Maybe she had been wrong about him the whole time? Maybe he was a good kid after all. "But I'd hate for you to go to all that trouble. Especially when I'm almost certain a funeral is not what Edward would have wanted." The easy use of his given name didn't surprise her. She was growing up now, they all were.

"As much as I'd like to see him buried, its not what I want that matters, its what he would have wanted. And he never liked a fuss." The girl didn't add that she didn't want all the things he had left her, even if they would go a long way towards reminding her that she was important to him. She already knew that, she could live without the material wealth.

"Lets just wait for your Ministry to decide how to deal with his assets. I already got something of untold value from his passing," she added sadly. "I got to realize that he was fond of me."

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Subject: Re: I'll keep on trying... (Joshua) Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:59 pm

Listening to Azalea talk, Josh nodded in the right places making sure that she knew he was listening. Even if he was listening to her tones and variations in the pitch and volume of her voice a little more than the quality. Botany had become one of Josh's hobbies in the last three years, even if his study of plants was... unorthodox, to say the least.

"You don't have to make a fuss. You can have a private burial." Josh told her when she'd finished, trying to appease both parties though his main concern was her needs. "But, we'll wait." The boy agreed with her, nodding as she said he was fond of her. Fondness... Josh looked away for a moment, trying to work out what to add and then deciding adding anything would be... wrong. No, now was not his time to move. He had to be patient.

Reluctantly, the Slytherin pulled away, standing up and offering her his hand. "Come on, A-Azalea, you should be inside, not sitting outside. It's cold." Josh told her, firmness evident in his voice, because without saying it or hinting at his own feelings towards her, she would get sick if she sat out on the damp grass all day.

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