We're.. Pregnant?! [James]

Guest

Freaking out was not describing Circe's situation quite well. Her period was already about a couple of weeks late, but the witch did not even dare to think the obvious. She just couldn't allow herself to acknowledge that there was the slightest possibility of her being pregnant. And it wasn't just that she was not ready to accept. It was the fact that the only person she had been sleeping with for the past.. well, two months(?) or maybe more, had been James Balan. The Potions Professor. The arrogant asshole that just couldn't even be in a relationship.

So how was she supposed to tell this person, that he might be a dad in a few months? It was not possible, it couldn't be. There had to be another explanation but her mind was reeling and nothing seemed fitting. Two weeks was a lot, and truth be told, she did feel kind of sick sometimes. Or did she?

Shocked out of her mind, she ran to her mirror and lifted her shirt, turning to the side and trying to see whether her belly was growing.
"It's the same... but no! Now that you look at it from this angle.. oh Merlin, I can't be pregnant!"

Pulling her shirt down once again, she started pacing around her bedroom, stopping by the mirror once in a while and repeating the same actions, as if her belly would grow over the hour. She was trying to decide whether she should inform James about her condition or keep it hidden.

She could keep it to herself, because, after all, there still was a possibility she wan't pregnant. But if she was? Could she keep it hidden for how long? She would have to see James again, since they happened to work in the same environment, and what was she going to tell him then? 'Hey, just thought to tell you, you're gonna be a dad! Yeah, good day!'.
Even the idea made her wanna die.

"Calm down,Circe. Think clearly.."

Taking a few deep breaths, Circe allowed herself to calm down, and think. It didn't take long for her to decide that the right thing to do was tell him about it. After all, it was his baby. She didn't have it on her own!

Calling for a house elf, she ordered the small creature to find James Balan, stop him from whatever he was doing, no matter the consequences and bring him here.

The more she waited, the worse this was becoming.

Guest

James' mood had improved since the rendezvous with Circe in his office. She knew how to please him, that much he could never deny. But James' sexual appetite was not easily satiated, and after a few days of his hand, he'd grown restless. The thought of calling Circe over had popped in to his head, but then came the games that she played. He was stuck in a moment of uncertainty about how to move forward.

James was not a one woman kind of man, and yet he only wanted Circe.

Lifting the glass of whiskey to his lips, James sipped it, contemplating his options. He was not any closer to a decision when the crack of apparition filled the room, making the professor jump. H was not expecting anyone, and at the feeling of something grabbing his leg, James bristled. "What in-"

But before he could even ask what was happening, they'd apparated away once more. Closing his eyes to stop himself feeling queasy, James tried to work out what was going in, only to be unceremoniously dropped on the floor. "Stupid bloody animal!" James growled at the house elf as it gave him an apologetic grin before it disapparated once more.

Leaving James somewhere familiar. Eyes moving from where the elf had been, James took in the legs before him that were pacing the floor. Legs he'd know anywhere.

"You know, if you'd wanted me here you could have invited me civilly rather than sending a stupid elf to kidnap me?" James prompted getting to his feet and adjusting his sweat pants slightly. For once, James was not dressed in his usual suit. Today he was in a pair of sweat pants and a slightly too big tshirt. Comfy clothes for around the house, not for being here with Circe.

It was then, and only then that James took in the features of the witch before him and a frown touched his features. She looked worried, and James instantly had a bad feeling about this. "Circe?" James prompted her, eyes searching hers for an inclination of what this was about. For once James didn't look so sure of himself, because he couldn't be sure of what was going on.

Guest

Maybe sending the elf to bring James here wasn't the smartest choice, since she knew how mad he got over such small things like these. But she didn't have any other choice! Writing a letter was not going to help her, since it would take some time to arrive, and she wasn't sure James would accept and come straight away. That would be extremely non-James like.

So sending a house elf was her best bet for now, and she wasn't regretting this one bit, since she was buying herself time to think how she should tell this to James. Because it wasn't this simple to tell him she had missed a period, and she was probably pregnant with his baby. James didn't even do relationships, how was he supposed to accept the fact that he could be a dad?

The sound of apparation soon touched her ears, and James hoarse voice echoed in the room, making Circe turn her attention to him immediately. She wasn't sure how to handle this.

"You know, if you'd wanted me here you could have invited me civilly rather than sending a stupid elf to kidnap me?"

Circe sighed and sat on her bed, crossing her legs.
"I didn't kidnap you," she said calmly and rubbed her eyes with her hands, taking another deep breath.
"I just wanted to waste no time. This is important." This was so hard to say.

"Circe?"

By the tone of his voice, she sure looked like a wreck, and probably really tired and nervous. Truth be told, she was all that and more, and this was normal since she was going through a lot at this time.
"There is something I need to tell you... "
But the words couldn't leave her mouth. This was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do.. and it was killing her.

Finally, without a warning, Circe simply looked at James.
"My period is late. A lot late. James, I might be pregnant."
There. It was all out. And now, she had to wait and see how James would react.

Guest

The idea of not being kidnapped made James smirk, motioning around him for an explanation of what this was if it was not a kidnap. He'd been transported to her house - and he'd not consented to this, so he definitely thought it was an apt explanation for what had happened. But he decided not to press that when she said that the method of him coming to be here was important.

Instead he raised an eyebrow at what could have been so important. Surely her sex drive could have waited for him to smarten up.

But his cocky ideology was thrown away when he looked at her. Had it been sex drive that had driven her to this situation he doubted Circe would have been so stand off ish. And all of this made James start to worry. Why, he wasn't sure at all, but he had a niggling feeling that this had something to do with him, and that was not something he wanted to deal with.

""There is something I need to tell you... "

James simply waited, watching her as she seemed to struggle for the words that she wanted him to hear. James heart had begun to speed up with anticipation, but his mind was still, waiting for information to process.

"My period is late. A lot late. James, I might be pregnant."

James lips twitched, and he relaxed in that moment. Did she really think he was going to buy that? Letting out a small laugh at the idea, James shook his head. "You can't..." But Circe could be, his mind told him a moment later as he realised he'd never asked if she was using anything to make sure she didn't get pregnant. He'd never used any himself because he was much too care free for that. And now...

"You're joking, right?" James asked, the smile gone from his lips as he looked at Circe. His guard was slipping as his eyes moved from hers to her stomach and then back. James was not ready for that, he was too young for children. And Circe and him... the idea wasn't one he resented, he found, but it was one he hadn't thought to be on the table. He'd thought... no, he hadn't really thought, but now he looked at Circe he realised that it wouldn't be something he couldn't do.

Guest

Maybe she was a bit too straightforward for the situation, but at the same time, this was the best way to say it. She shouldn't try to cover this up or lie. This was the truth, and she had to say it the way it is. Her period was late, she had been having sex with James all this time, they didn't use protection, therefore she could be pregnant.

And that was another story. Why didn't they use protection really?
The first time they had sexual contact, Circe had cast a contraceptive spell, but the rest of the times had been... intense. They needed each other like animals, and that was exactly how the fucked too. So no one really had the time to even think about protection.
James wasn't the type who used condoms, and it was up to her to do the spells.

But she was kind of lost, moaning in pleasure.

The laugh that touched her ears made Circe turn to him immediately and glare. He couldn't be seriously laughing, could he? What serious man would laugh at something so important, especially when it wasn't planned and it could only lead to a disaster?

"You can't..."

Circe raised her eyebrows and looked at him shocked. How could he be so stupid?
"Oh I can't? Well, I am sorry to inform you that I sure can, and I sure might be right now!"
Circe knew that James understood that, but she was still unable to understand why he was being such an asshole.

"You're joking, right?"

Circe laughed in disbelief. James couldn't be seriously asking this. Especially from her. She had never given him a reason to doubt her, and he knew that very well, and she was not the type who would use such an excuse to keep him. Hell, she didn't need him!
But you do..., a voice whispered in her head, making her sigh.

"Do you think this is something I want? Do you really believe I would like to be a mother right now? Have a child with someone that sees me as something less than a whore? That would go and fuck other women to have his fun, while I will be sitting here playing good wife? James, you and I both know that you only want me for sex."
She stopped and took a breath, getting off of the bed, and for the first time, tears touching the corners of her eyes.
Moving towards him, she looked him in the eye and shook her head. "I am not asking you to be a father to this child, if there is a child. You don't have to. This won't be an excuse for you to stay faithful to me. For all I care, this baby could never meet you and you could keep fucking your whores away from me. It will be easier to explain to him than tell him that its father doesn't even want his mother."

And that was when the tears finally rolled down her cheeks, and a sob escaped her throat. She fell on her knees and started crying, all the emotion pouring out of her. She meant nothing to him, and he meant so much to her. And she was finally realising it all.

Guest

"Oh I can't? Well, I am sorry to inform you that I sure can, and I sure might be right now!"

James' smile faltered at that. It wasn't just him seeing the loophole in their actions in that moment. He'd wanted her to blow it off. Say that she had taking precautions with their time together. To tell him that she was not that stupid as to have unprotected sex with a guy like him. But Circe didn't and James felt the frightening reality come hurtling towards him with the weight of a freight train.

He could possibly be a father.

The tirade that came made James shrink back a bit though, lose the confidence in his shoulders as he noted the tears in her eyes. The strength he usually showed when around others, the authority, slipped away as she threw the ideas at him thinking nothing of her. How he slept around, and how he was not wanted in the child's life - if there was a child - because of those antics.

He'd broken many hearts over the years, he was not knew to the tears or the words of him being the kind of person no woman would ever want to have by their side. But none of them had ever come to this. None had ever told him that his ways would stop him from having things he wanted.

For in that moment, James realised that the words he'd spoken in his office were not the wanton words of a man who wanted a quick release, but of a man who knew what he wanted. Perhaps not a relationship, perhaps nothing lasting, or promises that he might break. But something more than what was currently happening.

Circe had broken through the idiotic ideologies he'd made at eighteen, of needing to be the big I am, the man that would never settle for just one woman when he could have ten. She'd shown him that that kind of person only hurt another when it got too much. Circe had shown him that his idiotic behaviour had consequences and this situation was not in the slightest bit funny.

As the witch sank to the floor, James teetered on the edge of uncertainty - Circe was a fierce woman, and fierce women when they were emotional were not in anyway reasonable. He could leave, and that would be the end of all of this, he'd be free to carry on as he chose, and he wouldn't have to deal with any responsibility.

But only a coward would do that, and James was not quite that much of a coward.

Kneeling down in front of the upset witch, James took a moment to steady himself, taking in her tears before he took her in his arms. James wasn't usually someone who gave out hugs, but this... this seemed to require that in the moment. Holding her close to him, the Potion professor simply sat in silence, eyes trained on her bed as he tried to make a decision.

Well, you've just made the biggest commitment of you life. The voice in his head chimed helpfully. "I'm sorry." The words left James' lips without him thinking, but just because he hadn't thought on them deeply didn't mean they weren't meant. He hadn't meant to put them in this situation, of course he hadn't, but he wouldn't be so much of an ass to not help Circe through it.

James didn't know what else to say though, so he fell silent, simply holding the witch to him as she let out all the emotion she'd pent up. They'd talk when she was ready, though Merlin only knew what James was going to say.

Guest

Circe had been holding this back from the moment she had started getting to know James. It wasn't her choice to get to know him like that, but life kept bringing them together over and over again. Even if it wasn't their choice to do that, something was drawing them to each other. And Circe was drawn to James like that, every time. Every time her eyes met his, the world seemed to disappear and she was suddenly at her knees, praising him.

But this was not the case today. She was done. Done keeping this inside of her, and allowing her to eat her from inside out. He was destroying her and she was letting him do just that. Which was unacceptable. He had brought her to her knees, something Circe had not felt since the day she had left the orphanage with Miles. Since she had begun a new life.

But James was something different. She had hoped, she truly had, that he would change. That those words, that he wanted her, were spoken true. And that he would act on that. He would claim her as his, and not necessarily in a relationship type of thing. She just wanted to be his, and she knew, she felt it deep inside her, that he wanted her. He needed her but he was to selfish to see it.

Too selfish to see that he was losing everything he could have. Because being a strong man, being an intelligent man didn't mean having a bunch of women to fuck for the evening. Neither did it mean that his good looks would get him through life. Because he would grow old eventually. And women will stop coming around at some point. And by that time, James will have lost the opportunity of having a real relationship. Feeling what love is. Having a family of his own.

Because even if he was the big man now, it wouldn't last forever.

The words the witch had spoken were true. She was brutally honest, and she was like that because deep down she cared. Because even if he had treated her the worst, she cared about him. She believed he did deserve a chance to live. Live like a man. Fall in love, have his fun, feel whatever he hadn't felt so far. And she wanted to be her the one who showed him all that.

She wanted to show him that love was beautiful. That he could be the man, but he could be her man. And this gave a whole new other meaning to this. He could be so much, if only he allowed himself such.

As the witch was crouched to the floor, two strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close. Her breath caught in her throat as she slowly opened her eyes and closed them immediately again, as she faced his strong chest. The words that followed shocked her even more though.

"I'm sorry."

Circe wanted to laugh, but it wouldn't pass her lips. She couldn't laugh, because for once in her life, James had said the right thing. And she could feel that this time, he was honest. He truly meant what he said, and Circe knew that her words had probably hit a nerve. Or made him realise there was more in life than just sex. So much more.

No more words left his mouth, but for Circe, this small sentence was enough. There was still a chance to make him understand. She knew he could feel there was something different between them, and she would fight for it, just a little bit more. Until she couldn't fight any longer.

Pulling back just enough for her to see his him, her hands went up to cup his face, as she looked at him in the eyes. She was going to make him see. Every single emotion she felt.
"I know you feel this too... there is something... something there! James listen to me, for once in your life!"
She was being a little bit desperate but she had to make him understand. This was her only chance.

"Child or not, you have to understand. There is more in life than this attitude. I know you are not only sex and steel under these clothes. You have a heart and I know you can fall in love. I know you can smile. You can be happy. You can enjoy every little thing. And I care! Can't you see that? I care for you, even if I shouldn't! Because there is something between us and you've felt it too. Every single time you touch me, the way we complete each other.. you know it is not just sex... don't lie to yourself anymore.."

Pushing herself up a bit, Circe leaned in closer, bringing her face inched away from his. One last look in his eyes was all it took for her to crush her lips against his, pouring every emotion in that kiss. It was soft yet fierce. A bit rough and full of pain.
It lasted a minute or so, before Circe pulled back.
"Tell me you've felt nothing?"

Guest

James had still been trying to work out what to do now, what to say next, what in Merlin's beard was going to happen, when the soft palms of Circe's hands touched his face, making his eyes move from the wall on the opposite side of the room to her eyes. He was quite clearly lost, and unsure on everything, his eyes would say that much even if he couldn't bring the words to say it.

As the witch spoke of feelings, James made no notion of agreeing or disagreeing to this. He didn't know what he felt, to be brutally honest, but he knew there was something between them, because he was still here. Holding the witch who had been a conquest only hours before, and now...

Now James didn't know what she was, and that was terrifying.

The extended spiel was sending James' head around in circles, no longer sure of anything in the world. Was there a baby? Was there not? Who was he supposed to be? Where was this going? What did she want? James didn't have an answer for any of these questions, and as the questions continued, he grew steadily more and more uncomfortable with himself.

But Circe's lips found his, and James felt some comfort in that. Closing his eyes, James lost himself in the kiss. Taking in the feelings that Circe had put behind it in that moment, and reciprocating. His uncertainty and fear, together with his indecision and want were enough to make him a mess.

"Tell me you've felt nothing?"

James' eyes opened at those words, looking her deep in the eye and knowing the answer in a moment. "I can't tell you I've felt nothing." James responded, his voice broken in that moment, much like himself. He didn't know how to articulate anything he felt though, and the Potions professor let out an exasperated sigh, pulling himself away from the witch, and getting to his feet.

Space, he needed a little bit of space.

Moving to the window, James put his hands behind his head, eyes looking out in to the darkness of the world outside. His emotions had been unlocked and he didn't know how to deal with them. He was angry, at both himself and Circe for getting in to this mess. He was uncertain because he didn't think he could be a dad, not now. And yet... there were positive things, positive feelings that he couldn't get his head around.

And a sense of relief was flooding his body without him knowing why.

Without turning from where he stood, James asked only one thing. "What do you want to do now?" Because only that would let him know the direction the two of them would be going. Whether she would keep the baby, whether she expected him to be something to her. He needed to know, to make certain of the words he said before he said them.

Guest

"I can't tell you I've felt nothing."

She did expect a little bit more of him, but even that was enough for Circe to have faith in James. There was something there, something even he couldn't deny, and she was going to find out what this was and show him that it wasn't that bad after all. Circe Mayer cared for James Balan, like a wife would care for her husband. Maybe even more than that. And she had finally come to grips with that. Because it was the truth, even if there wasn't a good enough explanation about it.

But soon a sigh left his lips, and he pulled away from her, leaving her there on the floor, looking broken and tired and helpless. She felt like a whore. A used whore who was now pregnant and was begging her boss to help her. Because she had no where else to go and no life ahead of her. But Circe Mayer was not a whore, and she surely didn't need James' help. She wasn't going to ask for that. Ever.

She slowly crawled towards her bed, taking off her clothes one by one, and folding them nicely, placing them on the bed. She wasn't going to run after James and try to make out a plan of the future. If he wanted to say something, he would say it. He didn't need an invitation about it.

"What do you want to do now?"

That drew her attention from the folding back to him, and she allowed her tired and now naked body to move towards him, ever so slowly and lay her head against his back, as he stared out her window. She remained like that for a few seconds, before slowly bringing her lips close to his ear and whispering.
"Have a hot bath. It will help us relax."

She knew James wasn't referring to that, but she was not going to give him an answer, when she didn't even know what his plans were. After all, they still were not sure whether there was a baby growing inside of her. And since James still found it difficult to clear out what he felt and what he wanted, Circe was not going to be the one taking actions any more.

If he wanted something, he would have to fight for it.

Or else, the door was open for him to leave, if that was what he wanted. But he had to know, that he would never see her again.

Or the possible baby.

Moving away from him, Circe walked to the door on her left, leading to her own bathroom. There was already a prepared bath waiting for her, and the tired woman wasted no time. She slipped in and closed her eyes, allowing the hot water to hug her body. If James wanted to follow her, he sure could. If he would like to leave, once again, he could. No one was going to keep him, if he didn't want to stay.

Guest

"Have a hot bath. It will help us relax."

The response was not what James had wanted, and he was sure Circe had known that when she'd given the reply, but there was simply nothing he could do about it now. That was all he was getting. The soft pad of her feet across the room told James that that was exactly what the witch was doing, too. He stayed where he was in that moment, his eyes watching the stillness of everything outside the window without really seeing any of it.

What did he want?

James had no answer to that - no answer that he was ready to speak aloud, anyway. He had no idea what was on offer, nor what Circe wanted, only that he was under no obligation to stay. The thought of being a dad was terrifying, and yet James couldn't leave knowing that it would put the future with the child at risk. Terrifying as it might be, James understood responsibility, and he couldn't shrug that off.

It was a good five minutes that James stood by the window, thinking everything through. There was so much he would lose in staying, but was any of that worth enough for him to leave?

The simple answer was no, and yet James turned to look at the door of the bathroom and gave a soft sigh. He might not lose anything of value, but there were some things he still liked. His space, his single life.

And yet, there was so much more on offer to him beyond the next door. A woman who wanted him. A woman who could be carrying his child. A woman who cared for him enough to make him consider staying.

Moving across Circe's room, James slipped in to the bathroom, but made no move to undress. Instead, James moved to sit on the edge of the bath, not ogling the witch like he might have done any other evening. Not moving to make her moan for him like his usual self would have done. No, James sat there and looked at the witch, still thinking things through now.

"I..." James started struggling to find the words to explain what he wanted. He shook his head, starting again. "I'm going to be honest, Circe. I don't know what I want right now. This... well, this is not something I had planned for, nor - if I'm being honest - something I wanted to happen. But it is. And if you are pregnant, I..." James stopped, obviously getting stuck once more as he moved on to the difficult thing he needed to say. "I'm going to be the father to the child if it turns out you are pregnant." He told her, knowing that much at least he could do.

"But I don't know what to say about us." James admitted, not in a harsh manner, his eyes drifted from the witch to the floor, his shoulders tense from the stress of this situation. "I don't know, Circe." Was all he managed, running his hands through his hair. The idea of commitment was not something James knew how to broach. How to be with only one woman was alien to him. How did you tell someone you wanted to try but you were scared of what that would mean? How did you say you would try, but that you didn't know if it could succeed? James didn't know, but he was trying.

» Us (Circe & James)
» You Drive Me Mad [James & Circe]
» Butterbeer (James)
» I'm all about them Gems [James & Circe]
» James Byrne