What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore)

Subject: What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore) Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:58 am

It was the weekend before Valentine's Day. Elenore had a fervent distaste for the holiday because it was a celebration of a feeling that didn't exist. Or, Elenore corrected herself as she continued to pen the letter to her Grandmere, it was a holiday that celebrated something which she would never, ever experience in her life.

After all, how could a Pureblood woman, such as herself, ever expect to find love when the first thing anyone ever looked at her for was her name?

Elenore had, quite some time ago, resigned herself to the fact she was never going to find such a thing as love in the marriage she would come to be in. She would find a man that loved her name. Her influence. Her money. But, she was quite certain that nobody would ever love Elenore Lissette Clement for the person she was. For Elenore.

Putting a neat line through a word she'd used incorrectly, Elenore focused back on the subject at hand. Summer, and the fact she would have to spend time with Mimosa. She didn't want to. The child was... Elenore stopped in that thought, noting her handwriting had become much too hard pressed in to the parchment. Why, she thought to herself, was she always looked at as second to something, or somebody else?

Letting out a soft sigh, Elenore pulled out a new piece of parchment and started her letter again. It would not do to write to Grandmere Lynnette with harsh writing. Her Grandmere would know in an instant that there was something wrong, and Elenore wanted to pretend, for one more day, that she was okay...

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Alexei didn't like Valentine's day, it's not because he didn't have anyone he liked or stuff like that but it was because the holiday reminded him of the one emotion that he didn't have. And that was love. Romantic love that is. He did have familial love towards his brother but that was it. He tried falling in love with girls, and boys, but nothing ever came out of it. He either felt disgust or just deep longing, not love.

Never love.

Marcus had sat him down one day and explained to him why that had been, why he couldn't form an attachment to anyone in a romantic way. It's not that he was incapable of it, every human was capable of love, after all, it's that he had locked it away, far away in the recesses of his mind and heart, not wanting to be hurt once again.

He blamed his father for that as he knew that the torture and discipline he went through as a child was the reason for his inability to feel love for anyone save Marcus. And even then Alexei kept Marcus at arm's length, fearful of letting him in and getting his trust broken. He didn't distrust Marcus, on the contrary, he trusted him with his life but his heart was another matter entirely. He got it broken, shattered, once by the man that he called a father. He didn't want it to happen to him again.

He knew he would never fall in love, at least not in the way that a man was supposed to fall in love; he would feel lust and maybe some type of attachment but he'd never love. Not when love was such a dangerous weapon, capable of shattering someone so much that they didn't even recognize themselves.

And sometimes, when Alexei looked in the mirror, he really questioned whether the man looking back at him was who was or was it the killer that his father made him out to be. He was only eighteen but the kills that he had handed out was numbering high. He didn't doubt that if anyone from the Ministry found out about his former life he would be in Azkaban without any questioning.

He stared down at the blotched paper on the desk, not really seeing anything, yet at the same time seeing tortured faces looking up at him and spitting out curses as he ended their lives, cursing him into the seven depths of hell for the sins that he commited.

He snorted in derision, sharply jabbing his wand at the paper and watching it be shred into pieces. Hell? Hell would be nothing compared to the torture my father put me through. I'll gladly welcome it with open arms. The thought was laced with so much venom that he startled even himself at how angry and detached he sounded, even in his own mind.

"Blast it all." He muttered, throwing his head back and groaning as the bones in his neck protested at the motion.

Subject: Re: What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore) Thu Nov 09, 2017 9:31 pm

The sound of paper being shredded made Elenore look up from her letter to try to find the source. Whilst the study area was by no means the library with it's insistence on silence, it was usually understood that noise was kept to a minimum in the room so that people could work. Seeing as today the room was rather empty, even the smallest of noises would be heard over the almost pin-drop like silence.

Her eyes found the perpetrator of the noise only a few moments later, and Elenore watched Alexei for a moment longer than was probably necessary. The boy looked stressed, though what someone like him could possibly be stressed about, Elenore could not be sure. After all, he was quite the handsome young man, who likely had a line of girls giggling around him in the hope of getting a date for this Valentine's Day.

Not, of course, that Elenore was in the slightest bit worried about Valentine's Day.

As the boy threw his head back in what Elenore could only describe as 'over-dramatic' fashion, the French witch returned to her letter. It would not, she had decided, do well for her to go over there in this moment. Her mind was so terribly far away, it would be a mistake to put herself in such a position.

But, even though the witch knew better than to do that, Elenore's eyes kept looking up from her letter after every few words she wrote, wondering why the Slytherin was here. It didn't look like he was working on anything. Not now that he had shredded his work and given in.

Deciding better once again, Elenore forced her eyes to stay on her own work, once again recounting her need for something to do over the summer so that she would be spared the company of the Clement ward. Not that Elenore was of the belief that she would be able to get away from Mimosa for as long as she wished, but surely her Grandmere Lynnette could think of something suitable.

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Alexei let out a soft sigh as he got out another piece of parchment and went back to doing his homework, hopefully, this time he would be able to actually get through it without his mind going into places that he really shouldn't be going into during school. He may be a proficient Legilimens but he was by no means a Master and a Professor would be able to see what he was thinking and if his criminal past came to light he would be, quite probably, expelled from Hogwarts and sent into the deepest and darkest depths of Azkaban.

Dipping his quill into the inkwell, the Slytherin pressed the quill to the parchment and in his slanted writing, he started on his homework once more. This time making sure that he wasn't making any mistakes or writing stuff that he wasn't supposed to be writing. It only took him fifteen minutes to have the entire piece written up and thankfully it was both splotch free and writing mistake free.

Placing his quill down, the seventeen-year-old cracked his neck and sighed, finally letting his mind go back to his past. He heard from Marcus that their father was knee deep in trouble with some rivalling family for some reason but Alexei truthfully cared not for it, as long as it didn't come to bite him in the arse that is.

He had felt those inquisitive eyes on his back but he hadn't dared to look behind himself to see who it was; he knew who it was as there was only one other person in the study room. Elenore Clement wasn't being as subtle as she thought she was. Or more like it was like Alexei was much more in tune with his surroundings then most people liked. No-one could sneak up on him and no-one could actively hide from him.

A lot of people hated him for it but that had saved him on more than one occasion and he was awfully thankful for it even if all of his skills had come from being trained and tortured by his father.

"Can I help you with something Miss Clement?" He threw over his shoulder, looking at the young witch out of the corner of his eye.

Subject: Re: What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore) Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:44 pm

Elenore's hand continued to work over the letter, finally finishing her recount of her wish to be at the castle, or at least be otherwise engaged if she was present at the castle, for as little time as possible on Mimosa's stay. After all, it was only going to be a brief visit, wasn't it, so surely Elenore could accidentally be somewhere else.

After that, Elenore moved on to other matters. How Mycroft Holmes was now teaching Potions -- Elenore had neglected to bring this up over the holidays, not really having time to tell her Grandmere about that. And how, in Elenore's opinion, this was quite a weird scenario, having to call someone like Mycroft 'Professor' when normally he would be 'Monsieur Holmes', until welcomed to call him something else.

Elenore added her express hope for him not to continue teaching the next year -- not because he wasn't a good professor, Elenore couldn't deny that he didn't know his subject well -- but because he was one of them, and one of their own kind should not be sullying themselves with teaching.

It was as Elenore finished the point on sullying one's self when her name met her ears. Looking up, Elenore saw Alexei, obviously finished with whatever he was doing because he'd taken note of a number of her unconscious glances his way. "No, thank you, Monsieur Blackthorn." Elenore replied to the male, because she didn't need help with anything. Though, she doubted very much that she would be let off the hook for her lack of control.

"Though, I don't understand why you'd be holed up here on a day like today." She added, not looking up from her letter as she continued on -- wishing her Grandmere a happy Valentine's Day.

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Alexei's inquisitive gaze was focused on the young Clement witch, his arms loosely crossed over his chest as he wondered silently why Elenore herself was here. Surely she had a boyfriend or at least a male to spend the day with? Then again, from what he gleaned of the young witch around the castle, he had an idea that the woman wasn't in any sort of relationship nor was she looking for one.

It wasn't like he cared though, whatever relationships people were in wasn't any business of his whatever. And it's not like he had any of his own relationships to worry about either. Sighing, the sixth year rubbed his chest before focusing on the Hufflepuff once more, giving his mind a chance to focus on the present and not in the past.

"I could say the same about you as well Miss Clement," Alexei replied. "What are you doing here on this day? Don't you have a boy to spend the day with?" He didn't actually expect the question to be answered.

Subject: Re: What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore) Sat Dec 02, 2017 9:20 pm

Elenore hadn't been stupid enough to believe Alexei might actually warrant her with an actual answer to the question she'd posed him, that would have offered too much of a simple conversation, and likely the boy didn't want that, if he was intent on questioning her instead.

Where many young women of her age may have shied away from the subject of not having a boy in their lives, Elenore simply smiled in response. The idea was amusing to Elenore, her Maman was trying to ship her off at her earliest convenience, she was sure, but she expected her peers to be a little less medieval in their ideologies.

"Many asked, few even managed to get a response, but none were quite so lucky to win the prize of my presence on their arm for a day that celebrates something so... meaningless." Elenore replied, her eyes sparkling with amusement before she looked down to fold her letter neatly in half.

"Ignoring a question is quite rude, though, whilst throwing a question back at another is the basic principles of a conversation, you're actually supposed to answer the question before you return it." Elenore pointed out, the smile on her lips teasing as she looked up at the Slytherin through her eye lashes, waiting to see if he would take the bait she'd planted there in that moment.

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If there was one thing that Alexei liked about Elenore Clement, despite not knowing her in a friendly manner, it was that the Clement female wasn't one of those women who just simpered and batted her lashes to get something. She seemed like one of those women who knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it.

"I apologize." He bowed his head though not fully and a smirk was flirting with his lips as he looked at her from beneath half-lidded eyes. "My answer would be close to yours though. Many asked but none managed to get a response. I'm... not one for celebrating this day." Too much damage to his psyche had been done when he had been a child and Valentine's day just reminded him of the one thing that he couldn't fully have.

As a child who had been abused during his young years, Alexei wasn't one of those typical cases where the child in question retreated into themselves. Alexei was one of the few children who were on the brink of snapping. Balancing on the edge of a knife between insanity and sanity, Alexei was the typical case of a bred sociopath though without the anti-social tendencies.

His history, thankfully, was hidden beneath many layers of half-truths. Not one person, apart from his brother that is, knew what he went through and if Alexei had his way no-one would know. He wanted to forget that chapter of his life. However he knew that the past wouldn't forever stay in the past, it was the basic principle of things. He just hoped to prolong people finding out about it.

Subject: Re: What is Love? (Alexei & Elenore) Sun Dec 10, 2017 4:17 pm

The smirk playing on Alexei's lips in that moment was devilishly handsome, Elenore had to admit, and the youngest Clement averted her eyes just enough to be able to manage the blush that almost threatened to grace her cheeks. No, she would not allow someone that much power, that would be showing off a weakness that Elenore could not afford.

The witch's eyes flicked back to Alexei's, though, when he admitted that he too had had many offers, but he had not taken anyone up on them.

Curious...

Elenore gave it a moment, not quite sure how to approach the question that had struck in a moment. Why, the Hufflepuff had learned very early on, was a childish question, and not one that she wished to use in that moment. It would, after all, be unbecoming of her to simply retort with a one word question.

"Well, seeing as we have both decided to be alone today. What say we be alone together?" Elenore offered, motioning to the empty seat opposite her in invitation to the Slytherin. He didn't have to take it, of course, but if he did, perhaps then Elenore could ask the more pressing question she wished to ask.

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Taking up any offers from any of the girls and boys that had asked him to go to Hogsmeade with them would be just like giving them false hope that they had a chance with Alexei even if neither one of them did. It was the pure and harsh truth and Alexei had said it each and every time to the people that had come up to ask him out of the day and he knew it hurt them, he knew that giving them hope would hurt them in the end and he didn't want that, no matter how much of a bastard he may seem.

Locking his eyes with the young Clement female, his head was tilted just a tiny bit, his smirk turning into a devilish grin as he waved his wand at his stuff and they promptly packed themselves away into his bag.

"Thank you for the invitation," Alexei replied smoothly as he slid out of his seat and prowled towards Elenore's table, placing his bag on the floor before he sat down, his posture while not slouched wasn't exactly the epitome of manners, though he did know how to act in front of the witch should the need arise.

» The Start of Something New {Elenore and Alexei}
» She Will Be Loved {Elenore and Alexei}
» Catching Up with Sports (Alexei & Elenore)
» To Elenore, With Love
» From France, with love (Elenore)